how to feel beautiful ….. part 2

 

 

 

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I recently wrote a blog post about feeling beautiful while you age.

You can read Part One HERE.

I was inspired to write about this topic after hearing a story from a vibrant, attractive fifty-something-year-old woman who had a door slammed in her face by a stranger, a “gentleman” who was rushing ahead of her. Outraged, she confronted him about his rudeness, but afterwards she reflected on the experience, and the sting of feeling invisible that she felt.

Of course my instant reaction was to join her in her anger. What a rude man. He did what? Yes, you go-girl!

Although part of my bristling was focused elsewhere. Instead of wasting my energy on this faceless man and his thoughtless behavior—I kept coming back to the feelings his actions had triggered. The painful reactions beneath this woman’s anger that so many women will grapple with as we grow older.

The self doubt.

The sudden awareness of our changing looks that can trigger regret or loss.

The feeling of being overlooked in certain situations.

And the discomfort of feeling less relevant in a world that is expected to spend $291.9 billion on anti-aging products by 2015. (Global Industry Analysts,)

Did you hear that?  That’s $291.9 billion dollars on anti-aging products. Which in case you don’t realize, is a whole lot of messing with our minds. (Okay advertising world we-get-it, aging is bad).

Although this helps explains my next reaction.

Because instead of using this man’s behavior as reason for us to re-examine our looks and our wardrobe, so next time we can be more visible, I think we should be asking ourselves this more compelling question:

 

“When are we going to stop letting other people tell us our value?”

 

Really.

I don’t know about you, but when I lather my face with luxurious night cream, or visit my favorite hair colorist or head out for a run at the beach I want to do these things because it feels like self-care. I care about my health. I like my Self and I want my choices to reflect this.

What I don’t want is to choose my exercise program or plan my wardrobe out of some frantic hope that I’m warding off time. Yes, I want to look my best but I don’t want to feel like I’m at war with the natural changes happening to my face or my body.

This is what I reject. I reject making choices out of Fear.

Sure, there are mornings when I glance at the mirror and feel surprised. When I see how much longer it takes for my eyes to wake up after a bad sleep. And oh yes, I miss my long, smooth neck of my twenties and thirties.

But there are gifts that comes with aging well. An intangible wisdom and that mysterious feeling of being comfortable in your own skin.

Gone are the days when I would walk into a big party or room of strangers and scan their outfits to reassure myself I’m dressed ok.  Because today I could care less. I don’t mean that in a defiant way but as a simple matter-of-fact. Now I choose my clothing for me. I don’t read tips on what I should wear at my age because honestly, I don’t use them.

I prefer to wear whatever makes me feel confident and expresses my mood in the moment. Sexy, fun, serious, casual.  I spend zero time worrying about being judged by what I wear.

Saturday night I wore jeans and heels on a dance floor. I still wear my hair way below my shoulders.

My personal experience of aging can be described as a gradual awakening. There’s a freedom to be Me and to be enough, which is light years away from my twenties when I was on a frenetic mission to prove myself—and my worth-- through my academics and my career. 

Of course the irony is that the more you need this kind of approval, the more elusive it becomes. But these are things you have to work out for yourself.

What I find fascinating about growing older as a woman, is while you’re losing some of your physical self—your smooth forehead, tight jawline, small waist—you’re expanding in other ways. And as my feelings about my Self and my definition of beauty have changed so have my feelings about other women.

Whereas I once I felt confused and alienated by the kind of femaleness expressed through social ‘cliques’ and exclusionism, now my view is much keener. I see insecurities where once I saw mean girls. I see pain where once I saw petty gossip.

Seeing other women through my older eyes helps me realize that we are more alike than not. We are bonded through the rawness of caretaking. Through our struggles with loving and worrying and letting go. We can connect through our wounds. This is the realness that can be found behind a woman’s expensive outfit or impressive job title or even her plastic surgery.

Personally I want you look fabulous and to feel damn confident.

I want you to know that beauty is not perfect teeth and fake boobs and young skin.

I want you to know that beauty is a certain je ne sais quoi. 

That beauty is seen in the sense of security that oozes from a woman after she’s learned how to set limits and say “No” without guilt.

Beauty is the confidence that comes from falling down and getting back up, over and over again. And from knowing one’s strength and one’s flaws.

Beauty is the courage to show on the outside what you feel on the inside.

And beauty is the face of gratitude you feel for the ordinary moments. And for the mere chance to wake up each morning and start again.

I’m still learning how to age well. I certainly don’t have any magic answers. But I do believe that growing ourselves from within is the path I want to stay on.

Here are a few things I’ve learned along the way that I find empowering. Maybe you can relate.

 

 

Stop going back to an empty well

 

I love this line. It’s so crystal clear.

In the session room this was a phrase used to describe our tendency to keep going back to the same withholding, insensitive people for our emotional needs. For whatever reason these are people in our life who are incapable of giving us what we desperately want. Only we never learn. We keep going back. And we keep feeling bad afterwards.

An empty well can be a person or a situation but we can recognize them because they deplete us.

They make us question ourselves.

They ‘hook’ us with the hope that “if only…blank….then I would feel…blank…..” 

(you fill in the blanks)

One of the most hurtful dynamics about going to an empty well is that we unconsciously put someone else in charge of our value. For example, the man that rushes by you without holding the door. The universe is full of situations like that. What’s important is not him. And what he thinks of you, it’s what you tell yourself about the experience.

Maybe it’s happened to me too. Honestly? I don’t know. Because I’m not the type to notice. Or to personalize it and attribute it to my age or my looks or whatever I wore that day.

I guess I have a different view, one that’s emerged from my awareness of my many flaws, but when it comes to rude strangers with bad behavior, I realize that most of the time it’s about them.

It’s not about ME. 

Try saying that the next time you’re frustrated with someone. It’s so liberating. Like a peaceful mantra, but it’s so true.

Most of the time it’s just not about you. It’s about the other person. And where they are on their own life journey. To me this means when I see overt rudeness it’s most likely someone being distracted by their struggles. Their own suffering. On a tough day.

If we want to age gracefully, we need to identify these empty wells that keep draining us of our good feelings and let go. We need to recognize when we’re insisting that someone make us feel worthy.  And this includes people in our lives that we love, whom might not be ‘ready’ to change in the ways we hope.

The more self acceptance and compassion we have for ourselves, the less approval we will require from others.

Can you identify an empty well in your own life?

 

The one empty well in our daily lives

Because I’m going to tell you about one now.

Ready? Here it is. When it comes to feeling beautiful the mirror is your empty well.

The mirror will never give you what you really long for and need, which is to be full seen in your glorious wholeness.

Your kindness,

your impeccable cooking,

your goofy laugh,

your astute sensitivity.

Everything about you that is deliciously quirky and special will be instantly distorted when you look in the mirror.

Why?  Because the reflection you see in the mirror is always filtered through your emotions and your mood at a particular moment.

You know the guy at the street corner with the wolf whistle, the one who looks at you like a pair of boobs and nice legs and could care less about your great personality?  The mirror is like that guy but worse. Because the mirror causes a sneaky shift in your own perspective.

You can think of it as an optical illusion; the longer you gaze at yourself in the mirror the harder it becomes to see yourself as a whole person. At the worse you see yourself as a collection of parts that shrink or become inflated depending on your level of scrutiny and your mood at that moment.

I’m not saying the mirror can’t reflect our good stuff. I’m just saying we have be wary of it as we get older.

There is an abundance of research on how we develop our body image that’s outside the scope of this little post, but the message to take away is a simple one.

You will never find your self worth in a mirror. Never. 

 

 

 

 

 

“Except for the dying part, getting older is so fabulous, I love it…everyone I know is getting older. They are more relaxed, they are mellow, they are more alert as friends, they have a confidence. You really do acquire a kind of “I don’t give a damn” what people think, which is so liberating. I love this age now.”

Candice Bergen

 

 

Julia Louise-Dreyfus and Katie Couric talking about aging (love these gals)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Can you relate to this post?

 

xo

Leslie

 

I’m sharing this post with friends at:

French Country Cottage

 

Part One: how to be beautiful series….

Part Three:  how to feel beautiful series 

 

 

 

Technorati Tags: beauty and aging,how to feel beautiful and relevant,women's issues

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

how to feel beautiful and relevant no matter what your age part 1

 

 

 

There’s a pivotal scene in the movie Avatar when the character of Jake looks at Neytiri and utters the words,

“I ...see… You...”

Only in the film these three words aren’t referring to ordinary seeing, but are expressing a deeper kind of recognition. “I see you,” means I see the essence of who you are. 

The deepest part of me sees the deepest part of you, and you are so much more than what I initially saw with my physical eyes.

Sometimes movies give us moments that stay with us because they convey something meaningful about real life. Not long after we saw that film my husband said those words to me in the middle of a hectic moment, totally unexpected and most likely when I was without a stitch of make-up. Despite his lightness, he was being serious and in that brief, startled second I saw my best self reflected back to me in the twinkle of his eyes.

It was powerful.

It’s been awhile since I’ve thought about this kind of seeing and what it truly means.

But recently I read THIS thought provoking post by Jennifer, where she shares some honest thoughts about aging and how invisible she’s felt in certain situations.

And I thought it was an important topic that needs to be talked about.

 

a certain kind of seeing

When I hear stories about feeling invisible it makes me think of Heinz Kohut, an American psychoanalyst who developed the concept of mirroring.

Kohut believed the need to have one’s unique specialness “mirrored” back was as vital to one’s development as food or water. And although his version of mirroring is a complex dynamic that surfaces in therapy, it’s also a sensation we can detect when we’re with others.

You probably notice how some people leave you feeling depleted and exhausted, while   there are others --similar to my experience with my husband—in whose presence you feel lighter and more confident. And wonderfully understood.

Looking in someone’s eyes and having our whole self beamed back to us with warm acceptance is a powerful experience when we’re adults, but when we’re children it’s formative.

Our experiences with early mirroring—seeing the wonder of ourselves reflected back to us in our mother’s eyes—become the seeds of our own self image.

And it’s believed that the consistency of this gaze from others –in which our whole self is seen and responded to and not just the parts that others need us to be-- forms the basis of our authentic true self.  (Winnicott)

I tell you this because there’s a difference between being looked at and being seen. 

 

Peeling back the layers

 

Growing older in a youth-worshipping culture, one that bombards us at every turn with digitally altered images of perfect looking women that don’t actually exist, is the opposite of having our best selves mirrored back.

In fact, it’s the kind distorted feedback that can be wounding no matter what our age.

Coming from a background in the eating disorder field means I’ve known a whole lot of young, attractive women over the years-- and I’m here to tell you that physical beauty and self esteem do not come together in a package.

Having a young, wrinkle-free face does not guarantee a depth of self confidence or a strong sense of self. And believe me, women with tight abs and a toned neck still struggle painfully with not feeling good enough.

As a twenty-nine year old bulimic once told me when she was asking my help in pleading her case to the insurance company.

via

“Leslie you have to tell them. I’ve weighed 96 pounds and I’ve weighed 130 pounds and it never changes how I feel inside. This isn’t about how I look. Tell them this. Please.”

I still remember hearing her sum it up like that. The number on the scale part, the finally getting there and realizing there is no automatic flip switch for our deep-seated self esteem. Sigh. And I wish I could say that her insight led her to immediate wellness, but intellectual knowledge does not mean emotional learning and that’s what’s needed for real changes to happen inside us.

I guess I’m telling you this because it’s easy for a 40 or 50 or 60 plus year old woman who is struggling with the lines on her face, to assume that the remedy for these feelings is simply to have her young, pretty face back.

 

beneath the surface

But as I’ve gotten older I’ve come to realize from my own experience as a woman--- that whatever your age is, feeling beautiful and relevant ultimately happens beneath the surface.

I’m learning that aging can be a process of peeling away the layers to our deeper self; it takes us along a path that is a continual lesson on letting go.

Aging is the wise teacher that keeps reminding us that everything is always changing. Our kids leave home. Our parents become frail. Our family dog dies. Our jobs change and neighbors move away.

And yes, what we see in the mirror keeps changing.

Growing older shines a light on where we get our feelings of worth and value and particularly for women, aging exposes how much our identity has been silently invested in looking a certain way.

Any of these can be experienced as little ruptures in our lives, transitions that can jolt us. Suddenly we find ourselves re-examining the parts of our lives that once felt rock solid. Roles that gave us our sense of identity have changed, maybe they’re gone. Leaving us with questions we haven’t had to answer in a long time.

Who are we when we aren’t being someone’s wife or daughter or mother?

Graceful aging requires honesty. Grieve whatever feels like loss. If something was once there and now it’s not, that’s loss. And it’s natural to feel many things, sadness, vulnerability, even anger. Allowing ourselves to know our shadowy feelings is the way that we grow beyond them.

The Buddha tells us that it’s not the letting go that brings us suffering, but the clinging. The trying to hold on, the clutching and denying of life’s truth which is that, nothing stays the same.

This is the path of graceful aging and the way we remain beautiful and relevant; this how we take ownership of our lives and discover our next adventure.

We let go. We deal with the feelings. And then we look forward.

We understand that there’s a certain wisdom and perspective that can only come with age. And we own it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sharon Stone on deciding how she wanted to age

 

 

Rosamund Pike on how it felt to be an older woman 

 

 

 

 

Can you relate to this post?

I always tell everyone I have the best readers. So damn smart and insightful. And I always love to hear your thoughts.

If you agree this is a topic that matters, please share this post so we can keep the conversation going.

I’ll be back with Part 2 when I talk about three choices that matter.

 

happy weekend!

xo

Leslie

aka Gwen Moss

 

 

Technorati Tags: beauty and aging,the difference between being seen and being recognized,aging with grace,eating disorders,letting go

the one outrageously great thing about aging….

 

This past weekend I had my first ever blogger meet up in my new city.

Yes!

I happily stepped away from my time-sucking list of home projects, washed my paint brushes, yanked most of the white paint out my dark hair, and drove minutes away (to Newport Beach) to meet up with the wise and wonderful Tamera of the blog Tamera Beardsley. 

And what an unsuspecting gift I got.

Tamera has it turns out, is the real deal. She’s warm and vulnerable and insightful and refreshingly real. Although truthfully, I wasn’t really surprised. Any woman who posts a picture of her face without a stitch of makeup, who freely announces her age (55) at any opportunity and shares courageous posts about her son, is destined to be a friend of mine.

Of course we traded a cup of coffee for a glass of wine and ended up having one of those deep, meandering conversations that I find so replenishing. You know the kind. Where you start off talking about one thing and you end up talking about something totally different.

Lifting the lid on those parts of your life where you keep your deepest worries and tender life lessons, the stuff that makes us so damn interesting.

And do you want to know what I learned from the whole experience? Besides the fact that I have a new friend?

I walked away from the afternoon being reminded that the very best part of aging is that incredible feeling of being comfortable in your own skin.

And wondering, why-oh-why don’t we talk about this more?!

Why aren’t we celebrating these good parts of aging instead of focusing so much attention on the losses that are associated with our beauty and appearance?

Because I’m learning that there are some wonderful benefits that can come with age when we keep pushing ourselves to grow. A refreshing shift inside us, as we get older.

Are you feeling it too?

I first noticed it in a startling way a few years ago when my hubby and I flew into Utah for his company’s annual Christmas party. Each year, we pack our cocktail dress/business suit attire in anticipation of the typical dressy affair, except on this year when I walked into the room wearing my black Ralph Lauren dress and high heels, a young colleague of my husband’s immediately came up, looked me up and down and asked, “Where’s your ugly Christmas sweater?”

And when I looked around, sure enough, for the first time ever I saw a sea of casual jeans and bulky, god-awful sweaters and do you know what I did?

I burst out laughing.

Yep. I actually thought it was hilarious (it’s official I’m a geek) that we had literally missed the memo and even though we both changed much later ---I proceeded to the crowded bar, talked, and mingled and even helped a young, nervous couple clean up their spilled drinks before dinner.

And only later did I truly reflect on this growing change in me.  Honestly, I would’ve been utterly horrified in my 30s maybe into my 40s- in that same situation, but as I was walking around that night, this freedom from caring what others thought felt downright exhilarating.

Have you discovered this yet?

There’s something so liberating when we stop focusing on what others are doing.

Don’t misunderstand; I’m not describing anything remotely angry or defensive though. No cold, ‘frankly my dear I don’t give a damn’ attitude here. It actually feels more like an awakening about other women that comes from a warm, reassuring place.

A realization that comes from decades of seeing first-hand--- that what we see on the outside is never the whole story and no matter how different our paths as women might be, we’re all bonded by our wounds in the end.

So…. how did I go from sharing about a delightful get-together with a fellow blogger and end up on the topic of being comfortable in my own skin? 

Well it sprang from the idea of meeting someone new and sorta glamorous. And wondering what she would think about me. You know, meeting the blogger behind the blog. It’s a little unnerving.

When I was younger Tamera would have been one of those women I could’ve easily been intimidated by…

(for all the reasons that don’t really matter)

she’s tall----- I’m 5’2

she’s fabulously beautiful----I’m not

she’s a chic fashion guru who looks like she just stepped off a magazine cover ---my favorite outfit is a white t-shirt and jeans. Or something black and white.

Are you getting a picture here?

So OK.

What do you wear when you’re on your way to meet someone like this? I know in my younger days I would have agonized over my outfit. I probably would’ve gone out and bought something new and expensive. And to be perfectly honest, I did think about this, mostly because I still don’t know where all my clothes are. Although I did find my leopard  heels and thought about wearing those.

But in the end, on a hot afternoon in Newport Beach… I opted to be me.

I wore some fun jewelry, some open-toe heels, and my favorite jeans with a white T-shirt.

And when I saw Tamera she looked exactly as I expected, impeccably put together. In fact, I wish I’d taken pictures of her outfit to show you because I love her bold, elegant style.

Tamera looked wonderful and I felt wonderful.

And I sure wish you could’ve joined us.

Here’s what I’m learning.

Being comfortable in your own skin means

when you make comparisons –of course we all do--- you don’t walk away feeling diminished, or less than… because you realize that we’re all on own unique journey.

Being comfortable in your own skin means

you can truly celebrate another woman’s beauty, or her chic outfit or her thin body, and be absolutely happy and admiring …because what she looks like has absolutely no connection to you and your own beauty.

Being comfortable in your own skin means

when you walk into an event, your eyes don’t immediately search the room for confirmation that you ‘wore the right thing.’ …because you chose the clothes that you feel good in.

Being comfortable in your own skin 

is an expression of self-love. When there’s enough to go around, it’s easier to say, “I love you and… I love me too.”

And so far, it’s been the very best part of aging.

 

Can you relate?

xo

Leslie

 

I’m spreading the love with these friends:

http://www.stonegableblog.com/the-scoop-136/

http://www.astrollthrulife.net/2014/09/234th-inspire-me-tuesday.html

http://myuncommonsliceofsuburbia.com/inspire-monday-10/

 

 

Technorati Tags: beauty and aging,being comfortable in your skin,women's issues,confidence,self esteem

the difference between being seen and being recognized

Some days I’m just not in the mood to pick up a beauty magazine.

Even one with a gorgeous face on the cover that’s intended to help me realize all the sneaky ways that aging is changing my poor face.

Although I do understand.

I do realize that aging is the Ultimate Negative Word in the proverbial beauty dictionary. I know its propensity to rob me of my precious collagen, mess with my estrogen levels, and take what’s left of my smooth neckline. I’m aware that aging is the slow, menacing destroyer of all things that make me look youthful.

But some days…I’m just not in the mood to have my ‘fear’ buttons pushed. Some days I just don’t feel like being in a fight against aging, I don’t want read the latest anti-aging tips and I don’t want to rush to join this race against time.

Can you relate to this?

I was in the grocery store when I saw this magazine called New Beauty, a publication I’d never heard of it before but I thought, “Oh look. What a lovely photo of Heidi Klum.”

Doesn’t she have lots of kids and isn’t she in her forties?

I couldn’t remember, but I’d heard somewhere that she throws extravagantly fun Halloween parties which made me think fondly of her, so I picked up a copy and opened it, expecting a few healthy  tips on exercising and eating better.

Only as I thumbed through the pages, I landed on a photo spread which confused me.

 There was this BEFORE Heidi, looking beautiful and young.

IPhone shot

And there was this AFTER Heidi, looking beautiful and young…

(apparently she is only 40 years old) except the AFTER photo had tiny circles strategically placed on her face. Hmm…on further inspection it was apparent that these dots were intended to highlight the deteriorating effects of aging on Heidi’s near perfect-face. If readers strained their eyes--I’m not exaggerating--they could see the gradual imperfections that had occurred as a result of natural aging.

But there was more. Page after page was dedicated to displaying the insidious ways that aging is attacking our faces. Holy moly. I had no idea how inevitable it all was. Saggy jowls, Volume loss. Droopy lids. Vanishing cheek fat.

And I never knew there were so many beauty techniques I wasn’t doing and state of the art procedures that could be helping me. But the worst part was the seed of self criticism implanted in these pages. So by the time I arrived at the photos of plastic surgeons with their beaming, white smiles next to their specialties, I had gotten the message loud and clear:

If the natural effects of aging can mess with someone as beautiful as Heidi Klum, imagine what will happen to us mere mortals. Translation: we better start right now (already too late) fending off all that saggy skin in our future.

Except for one thing.

On this particular day I didn’t want to focus on the darker sides of growing older. And I wasn’t in the mood to inspect Heidi’s face because the truth is, I could feel self-doubt and insecurity begin to creep all over my good mood, urging me to poke and scrutinize my own face in the god-awful pursuit of my latest facial flaws.

Which made me immediately toss the magazine and keep moving. Because honestly, life’s just too short for that kind of seeing.

Instead, today I prefer to focus on what we GAIN through our years and not what we LOSE.

Today I choose to emphasize words like power and competence and talent and skills and hard-earned wisdom, all which happen to be gifts that come with the years.

Today I choose contentment over craziness.

And I choose to reflect on the difference between being seen and being recognized in this world and if you’re a woman living in our beauty obsessed culture you should know this difference too.

So let me describe it with this analogy.

Selfies are about being seen.

Selfies are about being looked at. Selfies are about a surface glance, they’re a snapshot in time, light and frothy and quickly over.

But Recognition happens beneath the surface. Recognition has staying power.

In the world of images, if Selfies are shallow, giggly girls, than Recognition is the confident woman with the deep, throaty laugh . If a Selfie is Brittany, than Recognition is Meryl.

Because Recognition is about being valued for what you can do and who you are.

Recognition is not about your French- manicured hands, Recognition is about what those hands can make. produce. accomplish.

So the next time you look in the mirror, remember this.

Being looked at might be flattering… but being recognized is powerful.

And being recognized for your whole package feels damn beautiful.

 

 

 

source

 

Click HERE to read

via

 

 

 

What can you do now that you couldn’t do at 20?

 

I’ll post your responses on my blog.

xo

Leslie

 

 

Technorati Tags: the difference between being seen and being recognized,women's issues,beauty and aging,scarlett johannson,40 things i can do at 40 that i couldn't do at 20,self esteem,40 lessons in 40 years,social media on young girls

practicing gratitude (for your amazing body)

via

Actress Julianne Moore; currently age 52

on the topic of aging:

“I’ve been asked about aging in Hollywood since I started, I think because I started making movies when I was 30 or 31. So the first question out of everybody’s mouth is ‘what does it feel like to be an older actress working in Hollywood.’ And I keep getting it. And my answer to it always has been that you can’t be anywhere except where you are. I’m 48. I’m going to be 48 until I’m not anymore and then I’ll be 49. And if I spend all my time at 48 wishing that I was 35, I’m not going to experience 48. And I’m not going to play parts I played at 31 either. It’s not going to happen. So I feel like as far as aging is concerned for anybody in their life, at any point… you have to go, ‘this is where I am today, and appreciate it.’ Because none of it lasts very long.”

‘This is where I am today… appreciate it.’

Wow. This is simply a wonderful quote to begin a post about gratitude.

That’s right. Today’s post is about living in the moment and appreciating the body you’ve got right now. Not the body you’ll have in a few months after you lose some weight or firm up that tummy. The body that’s yours right this second.

No more postponing your good feelings.

If that sounds like a foreign concept to you, you’re not alone. Because most of us women view our bodies with a certain detached judgment. In fact, as I write these words, a new survey reports that only 3% of the women in the UK are totally happy with their bodies. Think about that; that’s a lot of discontentment. But seeing our bodies with critical eyes is something we learn early on; our bodies very quickly become things to be pinched and tightened and manipulated by exercise and calories. Our bodies are something we glare at in the mirror, scanning for imperfections.

The sad truth is, most of us don’t feel a tender appreciation for our trusty, dependable body and everything it does for us. And even now after everything I know, I still struggle with this.

But I’m getting better.

In fact, I decided to write this post after I heard an amazing quote about our bodies that I immediately wanted to share with you. And you may find it interesting if:

1.  you’re sitting down right now

2.  you’re a blogger (lots of sitting)

3. you work all day at your desk

It’s a stunning quote I heard while I was listening to CNN’s Fareed Zakaria’s interview with Dr. David Agus. (You can watch the clip HERE. for his full comment).

Shown here on CBS

For those of you who don’t know, Dr. Agus is the former oncologist for Steve Jobs and author of “The End of Illness.” And his message is largely about preventing illnesses. One of his basic beliefs is in order to fight off diseases as we age we need to keep our bodies moving. A lot.

This is what he said:

I know. It’s pretty shocking. And you can decide for yourself whether you believe this or not.

But this comment was a powerful reminder that my body is like a high functioning machine that needs maintenance and attention in order to perform well. Whatever you might think of this quote, his larger message forces you to have a different perspective about exercise.

Exercise is no longer that dreaded thing-to-do in order to weigh a certain number on the scale.

Helen Mirren: age 67

Instead, we want to keep our bodies moving because we love how we feel inside a healthy, strong body. We want to feed our bodies fruits and vegetables because we love feeling energetic.

Do you see the difference?

Do you see how much easier it is to be nicer to your body when you’re not focused on how it looks?

But rather…how it performs for you?

Here’s my latest Gratitude List.

Four Nice Things To Do For My Body:

1. Start the day with a positive affirmation

2. Drink a delicious ‘green’ smoothie

3. Pick a parking space that’s far away

4. Go for a long walk or run –preferably with your dog.

These are four easy things I’m doing right now, feel free to join me.

 

Kristen Scott Thomas currently age 52

But do these things… NOT because you’ll look ten years younger or because you want to look like Julianne Moore or some other beautiful woman.

Do these things because living a grateful life means living in the present. It means focusing on what you have and not what you don’t have; it means making peace with the natural parts of aging so you can relish every gorgeous detail of your life today.

Here’s a personal example.

Recently I was sitting in my car at a stoplight when I glanced at my hands on the steering wheel. My first random thought was, “Wow, look at my hands. My fingers used to look so long and slender…no wrinkles around my knuckles. Nice, smooth hands…and now look at them. What happened?!”

But I caught myself.

And instead of staying in that mindset and focusing on how old my hands looked, I began to think about what my hands actually do.

That’s right. I thought of all the beautiful things my hands have done for me. I looked at them and I tried to imagine how many little shoelaces my fingers have tied in my lifetime. I wondered how many book pages my fingers have turned. I thought of the first time my hands ever held my infants at the hospital, and I flashed back on all those times I scooped my boys up and plopped them on my hips. That was a whole lot of scooping.

I thought about holding hands, and cooking fantastic meals and laying bricks and planting flowers. And suddenly I knew why my hands looked more worn.

And the strangest thing happened. The harsh judgment I’d felt just seconds ago?

It drifted off. And in it’s place was a tiny surge of tenderness for these valuable hands of mine. Funny how I immediately wanted to put lotion on, and take better care of them.

Rachel Weisz age 42

Although I also know this. I can sleep every night with my hands wrapped inside expensive spa mitts and slathered with creams and they’ll never look like my twenty-year old hands.

Because the simple fact is: I’m not twenty years old.

I hope you find time to do something nice for your body today.  Maybe even something on my gratitude list. A walk in the sun, maybe?

Right now I’m headed out with my jogging partner.

This is Stella, she’s waiting for me…

I hope you have a wonderful day, my friends!

If you get a moment, I’d love to hear your thoughts.

xoxo,

Leslie

 

 

I’m linking this post up with these friends:

http://www.cedarhill-ranch.com/2013/03/the-scoop-58-with-stroll-through-life.html?

 

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