Selfies, Jewelry, and feeling ridiculous (oh yeah-and-this-is-Me)

Hello friends.

Well, I certainly didn’t plan on writing a post about Selfies today but if you’re a regular here you already know I love to talk about things in life that baffle me-excite me-or challenge me.  So today’s topic pretty much covers all three of those.

First—here’s the excitement part:  

When was the last time someone sent you a gift in the mail for absolutely no reason?

Not your birthday. Not a holiday.

Nada. Nothing. Just because.

Well that’s what happened to me recently when Vannessa from Luxuria sent me an elegant set of hammered multi-toned bangles from her jewelry collection…totally out of the blue, as a little token of blogger love.

Honestly, this is one of the amazing parts of being a blogger---you end up becoming friends with people from all over the world, following them through their ups and downs, knowing the names of their family, offering support from a distance when you see them struggling. Funny, the little details I end up knowing about my blog friends. They may be women I’ve never met in person--- yet I have this distinct feeling that I “know” them.

So let me tell you about Vannessa.

She’s got an inspiring fashion blog —and a gorgeous line of jewelry. She lives in a 300 year old cottage in London and regularly writes posts about all things related to being a smart woman with a sharp sense of style. I can’t even remember how long I’ve known Vannessa but based on my memories of her life, it feels like it’s been a long time.

Okay, here’s the selfie part of the post—baffling and challenging me all at once.

Do you want to know how much I like Vannessa?

Well.

I like her SOOOOOOO much that I actually agreed to take a few pictures so I could share my new bangles and do a little shout-out for her jewelry business. And this is no small thing for me.

If you’re a regular here you might have noticed I don’t post pictures of myself much. Well actually never.

 (Except for this one little yoga pose)

After several years of blogging, this is actually my first picture I've ever posted of myself. 

Wow. That's hard to believe... even for me.

But truthfully, I may be the last official woman on earth who doesn’t take Selfies.

I know. Call me a dinosaur. 

But I admit, I'm totally mystified by that urge to pause-in-the-middle-of-whatever I’m doing, to take pictures of myself. I literally never do this.

Although I loooove to see your Selfies, I absolutely do! 

I so admire those women like my friends Tamera and Elizabeth who are refreshingly unabashed about sharing their self-portraits with the world, and whom inspire women of all ages to do the same. 

Express your own version of beauty and humor and self-confidence, they say to all of us, and do it through the art of taking Selfies. If you visit their blogs, you’ll see for yourself how easy it is to get caught up in their exhilarating freedom of expression.

But Moi?

I admit it; I’m not a convert yet.

Does this make me an old fuddy-duddy?

Honestly I just don’t get that 'Empowered-This-Is-Me-Being-Totally-Me-Feeling, as I struggle to figure out how far to hold my phone away from the gigantic-looking face I see in that screen.

Do you know what I mean?

Because sometimes I feel like I'm the only one with this view.

Those rare times when I’ve tried to take a Selfie it brings out my absurd side; that part of me that laughed out loud when Jim and I walked into an “Ugly Xmas Sweater” corporate party dressed in formal-wear because we literally missed the memo.

The Me that trips in public because I misplace my glasses and can’t see the curb.

It's the posing part that makes me feel a tad ridiculous. That suddenly brings out my "Tom-Boy"side ....the Me that prefers old jeans and t-shirts and who never finds time to get my nails done, because there’s literally 1000 things I’d rather be doing than sitting still long enough for someone to paint my nails. 

I jokingly call it my 'Dude' side;  it's the Me that recently got my first tattoo at age 57 with my 22 year old son after we met for a cold beer at a bar in Newport Beach and had a great talk about Life.

I guess my point with all this blathering ….is to say, please don’t let my geeky posing as a jewelry- model keep you from visiting Vannessa’s blog and introducing yourself. It would be so kind of you to visit her at Luxuria-Jewellery and tell her I sent you!

She was so sweet to send me these beautiful bracelets.

Let's see. If I lift my hair up would it draw attention to the bangles? Opps...too blurry.

Maybe if I hold my hand up...but wait, the bangles keep separating that doesn't look right.....

What if I hold my arm up... balancing it on my other arm? At least the bangles all fall together, but what's with that plastic smile? 

I could keep going but you'd be bored silly. I know I am.

But you should know that these bangles really do look great with everything! And I sure hope you have fun checking out Vannessa's jewelry. 

Oh and before you go...please tell me, how do you feel when you take Selfies?

xo

Leslie

joining these friends:

WowusWednesdays

the one outrageously great thing about aging….

 

This past weekend I had my first ever blogger meet up in my new city.

Yes!

I happily stepped away from my time-sucking list of home projects, washed my paint brushes, yanked most of the white paint out my dark hair, and drove minutes away (to Newport Beach) to meet up with the wise and wonderful Tamera of the blog Tamera Beardsley. 

And what an unsuspecting gift I got.

Tamera has it turns out, is the real deal. She’s warm and vulnerable and insightful and refreshingly real. Although truthfully, I wasn’t really surprised. Any woman who posts a picture of her face without a stitch of makeup, who freely announces her age (55) at any opportunity and shares courageous posts about her son, is destined to be a friend of mine.

Of course we traded a cup of coffee for a glass of wine and ended up having one of those deep, meandering conversations that I find so replenishing. You know the kind. Where you start off talking about one thing and you end up talking about something totally different.

Lifting the lid on those parts of your life where you keep your deepest worries and tender life lessons, the stuff that makes us so damn interesting.

And do you want to know what I learned from the whole experience? Besides the fact that I have a new friend?

I walked away from the afternoon being reminded that the very best part of aging is that incredible feeling of being comfortable in your own skin.

And wondering, why-oh-why don’t we talk about this more?!

Why aren’t we celebrating these good parts of aging instead of focusing so much attention on the losses that are associated with our beauty and appearance?

Because I’m learning that there are some wonderful benefits that can come with age when we keep pushing ourselves to grow. A refreshing shift inside us, as we get older.

Are you feeling it too?

I first noticed it in a startling way a few years ago when my hubby and I flew into Utah for his company’s annual Christmas party. Each year, we pack our cocktail dress/business suit attire in anticipation of the typical dressy affair, except on this year when I walked into the room wearing my black Ralph Lauren dress and high heels, a young colleague of my husband’s immediately came up, looked me up and down and asked, “Where’s your ugly Christmas sweater?”

And when I looked around, sure enough, for the first time ever I saw a sea of casual jeans and bulky, god-awful sweaters and do you know what I did?

I burst out laughing.

Yep. I actually thought it was hilarious (it’s official I’m a geek) that we had literally missed the memo and even though we both changed much later ---I proceeded to the crowded bar, talked, and mingled and even helped a young, nervous couple clean up their spilled drinks before dinner.

And only later did I truly reflect on this growing change in me.  Honestly, I would’ve been utterly horrified in my 30s maybe into my 40s- in that same situation, but as I was walking around that night, this freedom from caring what others thought felt downright exhilarating.

Have you discovered this yet?

There’s something so liberating when we stop focusing on what others are doing.

Don’t misunderstand; I’m not describing anything remotely angry or defensive though. No cold, ‘frankly my dear I don’t give a damn’ attitude here. It actually feels more like an awakening about other women that comes from a warm, reassuring place.

A realization that comes from decades of seeing first-hand--- that what we see on the outside is never the whole story and no matter how different our paths as women might be, we’re all bonded by our wounds in the end.

So…. how did I go from sharing about a delightful get-together with a fellow blogger and end up on the topic of being comfortable in my own skin? 

Well it sprang from the idea of meeting someone new and sorta glamorous. And wondering what she would think about me. You know, meeting the blogger behind the blog. It’s a little unnerving.

When I was younger Tamera would have been one of those women I could’ve easily been intimidated by…

(for all the reasons that don’t really matter)

she’s tall----- I’m 5’2

she’s fabulously beautiful----I’m not

she’s a chic fashion guru who looks like she just stepped off a magazine cover ---my favorite outfit is a white t-shirt and jeans. Or something black and white.

Are you getting a picture here?

So OK.

What do you wear when you’re on your way to meet someone like this? I know in my younger days I would have agonized over my outfit. I probably would’ve gone out and bought something new and expensive. And to be perfectly honest, I did think about this, mostly because I still don’t know where all my clothes are. Although I did find my leopard  heels and thought about wearing those.

But in the end, on a hot afternoon in Newport Beach… I opted to be me.

I wore some fun jewelry, some open-toe heels, and my favorite jeans with a white T-shirt.

And when I saw Tamera she looked exactly as I expected, impeccably put together. In fact, I wish I’d taken pictures of her outfit to show you because I love her bold, elegant style.

Tamera looked wonderful and I felt wonderful.

And I sure wish you could’ve joined us.

Here’s what I’m learning.

Being comfortable in your own skin means

when you make comparisons –of course we all do--- you don’t walk away feeling diminished, or less than… because you realize that we’re all on own unique journey.

Being comfortable in your own skin means

you can truly celebrate another woman’s beauty, or her chic outfit or her thin body, and be absolutely happy and admiring …because what she looks like has absolutely no connection to you and your own beauty.

Being comfortable in your own skin means

when you walk into an event, your eyes don’t immediately search the room for confirmation that you ‘wore the right thing.’ …because you chose the clothes that you feel good in.

Being comfortable in your own skin 

is an expression of self-love. When there’s enough to go around, it’s easier to say, “I love you and… I love me too.”

And so far, it’s been the very best part of aging.

 

Can you relate?

xo

Leslie

 

I’m spreading the love with these friends:

http://www.stonegableblog.com/the-scoop-136/

http://www.astrollthrulife.net/2014/09/234th-inspire-me-tuesday.html

http://myuncommonsliceofsuburbia.com/inspire-monday-10/

 

 

Technorati Tags: beauty and aging,being comfortable in your skin,women's issues,confidence,self esteem

the difference between being seen and being recognized

Some days I’m just not in the mood to pick up a beauty magazine.

Even one with a gorgeous face on the cover that’s intended to help me realize all the sneaky ways that aging is changing my poor face.

Although I do understand.

I do realize that aging is the Ultimate Negative Word in the proverbial beauty dictionary. I know its propensity to rob me of my precious collagen, mess with my estrogen levels, and take what’s left of my smooth neckline. I’m aware that aging is the slow, menacing destroyer of all things that make me look youthful.

But some days…I’m just not in the mood to have my ‘fear’ buttons pushed. Some days I just don’t feel like being in a fight against aging, I don’t want read the latest anti-aging tips and I don’t want to rush to join this race against time.

Can you relate to this?

I was in the grocery store when I saw this magazine called New Beauty, a publication I’d never heard of it before but I thought, “Oh look. What a lovely photo of Heidi Klum.”

Doesn’t she have lots of kids and isn’t she in her forties?

I couldn’t remember, but I’d heard somewhere that she throws extravagantly fun Halloween parties which made me think fondly of her, so I picked up a copy and opened it, expecting a few healthy  tips on exercising and eating better.

Only as I thumbed through the pages, I landed on a photo spread which confused me.

 There was this BEFORE Heidi, looking beautiful and young.

IPhone shot

And there was this AFTER Heidi, looking beautiful and young…

(apparently she is only 40 years old) except the AFTER photo had tiny circles strategically placed on her face. Hmm…on further inspection it was apparent that these dots were intended to highlight the deteriorating effects of aging on Heidi’s near perfect-face. If readers strained their eyes--I’m not exaggerating--they could see the gradual imperfections that had occurred as a result of natural aging.

But there was more. Page after page was dedicated to displaying the insidious ways that aging is attacking our faces. Holy moly. I had no idea how inevitable it all was. Saggy jowls, Volume loss. Droopy lids. Vanishing cheek fat.

And I never knew there were so many beauty techniques I wasn’t doing and state of the art procedures that could be helping me. But the worst part was the seed of self criticism implanted in these pages. So by the time I arrived at the photos of plastic surgeons with their beaming, white smiles next to their specialties, I had gotten the message loud and clear:

If the natural effects of aging can mess with someone as beautiful as Heidi Klum, imagine what will happen to us mere mortals. Translation: we better start right now (already too late) fending off all that saggy skin in our future.

Except for one thing.

On this particular day I didn’t want to focus on the darker sides of growing older. And I wasn’t in the mood to inspect Heidi’s face because the truth is, I could feel self-doubt and insecurity begin to creep all over my good mood, urging me to poke and scrutinize my own face in the god-awful pursuit of my latest facial flaws.

Which made me immediately toss the magazine and keep moving. Because honestly, life’s just too short for that kind of seeing.

Instead, today I prefer to focus on what we GAIN through our years and not what we LOSE.

Today I choose to emphasize words like power and competence and talent and skills and hard-earned wisdom, all which happen to be gifts that come with the years.

Today I choose contentment over craziness.

And I choose to reflect on the difference between being seen and being recognized in this world and if you’re a woman living in our beauty obsessed culture you should know this difference too.

So let me describe it with this analogy.

Selfies are about being seen.

Selfies are about being looked at. Selfies are about a surface glance, they’re a snapshot in time, light and frothy and quickly over.

But Recognition happens beneath the surface. Recognition has staying power.

In the world of images, if Selfies are shallow, giggly girls, than Recognition is the confident woman with the deep, throaty laugh . If a Selfie is Brittany, than Recognition is Meryl.

Because Recognition is about being valued for what you can do and who you are.

Recognition is not about your French- manicured hands, Recognition is about what those hands can make. produce. accomplish.

So the next time you look in the mirror, remember this.

Being looked at might be flattering… but being recognized is powerful.

And being recognized for your whole package feels damn beautiful.

 

 

 

source

 

Click HERE to read

via

 

 

 

What can you do now that you couldn’t do at 20?

 

I’ll post your responses on my blog.

xo

Leslie

 

 

Technorati Tags: the difference between being seen and being recognized,women's issues,beauty and aging,scarlett johannson,40 things i can do at 40 that i couldn't do at 20,self esteem,40 lessons in 40 years,social media on young girls

our bodies…

 

Just in case you were wondering, I’ve been sick.

It seems like right after I hit the “publish” button for my Tuesday post, I was visited by some pretty mean Flu germs that proceeded to wipe out my entire week. Yes, right when I’d thought I’d escaped the entire winter without getting sick.

Today happens to be the first morning I can sit upright without my head pounding or my stomach feeling queasy, so I thought I do a quick post before I forget these grateful feelings I’m having about my healing body. Maybe you can relate.

But for those of us who are blessed with robust health year-around, I think sickness is like childbirth.  The minute it’s over it vanishes from our minds. It’s as if the return of our energy somehow effects our memories and we instantly forget how bad it felt.

And I don’t want to forget. Because I’m humbled by the truth.

The worst part of having chills, and vomiting and a chronic throbbing in your head is how it robs you of the simplest joys in your life. When I was crashed on the couch with my stomach in tight knots, I couldn’t think of…

• making breakfast for Michael
• shopping for healthy foods for the family
• reading anything
• the smell and taste of coffee
• the idea of creating something

and these are just the tiny things… My point is that everything that takes effort suddenly got pushed on the back burner while my illness took over. It won. It beat me. And not only did this make me feel tremendous compassion for all those people who are struggling right now with their health, my weak-fragile days made me focused on getting my body strong again.

So this is my post on physical fitness.

How do you stay in shape?

On my regular days, I jog or walk with Stella 4-5 times a week. But I don’t lift weights which I definitely need, especially for my upper body strength. And I don’t feel muscular anymore.

In my younger days, I used to love going to the gym, lifting weights and doing spin classes. And when I got married I was 106 pounds (I’m five feet two) and a runner. Only I haven’t felt that way in a long time.

I’m not talking about being thin. I’m talking about being strong.

The irony is that I live in a house where fitness is a top priority. Both my boys keep a fairly disciplined regimen. Michaels rows on the Crew team which means three hours of daily exercise and lots of healthy food to keep his weight up.  And Patrick hits the gym daily for intense workouts that have totally altered his body over the last few years.

Nobody eats chips and desserts at my house anymore ..which make me feel lonely. (sigh)

I mean, my own 71 year old mother goes to her neighborhood gym five days a week, how much more motivation do I need?

 

So these are a few things on my mind this morning.

1. I’d like to focus on getting a stronger, more physically fit body, and say Hello to a few muscles again by using small weights and good old fashioned workouts. And yes, I still remember how.

2. I want to eat cleaner.  And in the process take off a few (eight would be great) pounds. I stumbled on this Pinterest board for the Clean Eating Magazine, and I’m curious to check out some recipes.

 

I’m also including this image because Patrick tells me # 3 when he’s trying to help me. “Mom, it’s all about the diet,” he says. Only he doesn’t mean “dieting” he means being aware of proteins and carbs and fats and choosing good, healthy foods.

 

 Pinterest-jamieeason

Lucky for me I love fruits and vegetables. (and sweets too)

I also found THIS blogger who has a motivational story I enjoyed. Truthfully, I think I liked her post because she’s the same height as me (a fellow shorty)

3. Give yoga a chance.  What happens is, when my time is crunched, I always choose cardio over yoga classes thinking my ‘heart’ needs it more.  And yet when I see something like THIS post, I feel as if I’m missing out on another world. With deeper benefits. Do you practice yoga?

Well, that it for now. I’m so grateful to be able sit here without that terrible migraine.

And the chills.

I think I’m getting better, although simply watching that girl do those oblique squats makes me want to lay down and take a nap.

I can’t thank you enough for your comments and I’m going to be answering and catching up on my blog reading in the next few days.

Wishing you the blessing of good health!

xoxo

Leslie

 

I’m linking up here:

• http://www.whatjeanlikes.com/2013/02/aloha44.html?

 

Technorati Tags: women's fitness,clean eating,jamie eason,healthy lifestyle,gratitude for health

the beauty of being real

 

cashmerelover.com

 

God I love realness.

I love those deep, satisfying conversations with true friends, when pretenses are left at the door and you’re just being You…

witanddelight

I love it when I’m with someone who is refreshingly honest about who she is, someone who isn’t interested in putting on clever airs or being fabulously happy all the time…

just for appearances.

I find it admirable when I see a women take a risk and put herself out there, because risks involve discomfort and they’re hard. Only at my age I prefer plucky and bold to soft and timid.

I’m drawn to women who aren’t afraid to show their real face to the world and who share tender pieces of their story so others might ponder their own lives,

and be better for it.

This past week I was struck by a few of these women and I thought I’d share some links here in the spirit of passing-realness-forward.

I don’t know much about Grace Coddington, the  British creative director of Vogue, but when I saw her on MSNBC’s Morning Joe I was intrigued. Any seventy-one year old fashion icon who warns women not to hide behind make-up, and says things like, “Beauty is always the person,” and “I like the imperfections of people,” is a woman I immediately like.  I might just pick up her memoir.

 

And in the blogosphere I found something shimmering and real in each of these posts.

I hope you find something here to the inspire you. You deserve it.

 

moving on (from baby dreams)

 a tender disclosure about depression

facing your insecurities (entertaining in your home)

tiny beautiful moments (loss and gratitude)

a child of divorce explores “the fear” of marriage

 

 

---

I’d love to hear what you think. 

xoxo

Leslie

 

I”m linking up here:

http://boogieboardcottage.blogspot.com/2013/01/welcome-to-108th-masterpiece-monday.html

 

Technorati Tags: authenticity,real beauty,grace coddington,women's issues

Yes, it’s official. I survived my recent fashion show.

 

In case you were wondering, I didn’t fall off the face of the earth. I’ve actually been immersed in another world for the past few weeks, and I’m oh-so-happy to be back.

I forgot to mention it in my blog, but over the last month I’ve been rehearsing for Jesuit High School’s annual fashion show with my seventeen year old son Michael, and it feels like I’ve been in a virtual time warp.

This event is a huge Christmas themed fashion show with choreographed dance numbers and wonderful music, and it’s a major fundraiser for the school each year.

And the fashion models are none other than Senior boys and their Moms, along with Senior girls from the girl’s Catholic school.

Monday evening’s sell-out show was in front of an audience of seven hundred people at the Hyatt Regency Hotel in downtown Sacramento. And it was quite a success.

 

So this past weekend Michael and I were holed up in the Hyatt Hotel Ballroom getting ready for our three performances. Mind you. Most of these boys aren’t what you’d call theater guys, in fact they’re mostly the opposite and, truth be told, they’re really there for their Moms which makes it all the more special.

For several hours each day I hung out around the stage with all the other Moms waiting to be called for our simple short scene. The way it works is, a hired choreographer arranges Moms and boys in one big scene together, and the rest of the show is comprised of dance numbers involving the high school girls and guys together.

via dustjacketattic blogspot.com

But personally, I found one scene to be the perfect number for someone who doesn’t really like being under a glaring spotlight. I admit it, I’m not a comfortable performer. Although I was actually more relaxed this time compared to my dance with Patrick, which was faster and more stressful.

Patrick and me, in our dance scene two years ago.

And now that my modeling days are over, I realize I learned a few things along the way.

For instance, I learned that I have a deep-seated fear of falling on my a** in front of several hundred people. And that this fear seems to increase in direct proportion to the size of my high heels. Gulp.

So with visions of being the first model to ever go flying into the audience, I returned the gorgeous platform shoes I originally bought when I thought I would simply be walking down the stage gripping my son’s arm…

 

My Actual Dancing Shoes

and I went with this safer version. High but not too high. And much better for the sweetheart swing move.

Oh, and what about learning those dance steps? Well, that was another wonderful lesson I got about my decaying memory.  Yikes, I had no idea things had gotten so bad.

My only comfort is that it seemed to be a universal experience for all of us over-forty dancers. I actually got a glimpse of what life must be like when you’re feeling confused and being led around by younger, stronger arms, and it wasn’t pretty. And to rub salt into the wound, I still can hear eight counts echoing in my head

I learned that it’s actually possible to twirl in four inch platforms as I observed from watching my fellow high school models, whom I might add, looked absolutely adorable.

(Although they made me nervous going down the steps)

I learned that curls come in different sizes and that I prefer a more natural look…

and that someone named Lauren Conrad is famous for big soft curls which is the style of curl I received…

I learned that older women should be careful about wearing dark red lipstick...

I learned that when you’re confused and not sure what your next move is, all you have to do is flash a big smile and everyone smiles back.

 

And I learned that I will never be a Diva because I have this naughty sense of humor that makes me think of funny things at serious moments and prevents me from contemplating  curls and eyelashes for too long.

Oh, and one more thing. I learned that every woman loves a little white lie now and then.

Like when my sweet twenty four year old make up artist named Jena, looked surprised when she found out my age and blurted out, “Oh my God, you don’t have any wrinkles!”

(Yes I do)

But bless her little heart because that did feel good.

By the way, if you happen to be near the Roseville Galleria in Roseville, California, stop by the Nordstrom make-up counter and ask for Jena. Not only is she a master with her brushes and powders, but she’ll make you feel like the beautiful woman you are.

via pretty stuff tumblr.com

Well, that’s it. Now that it’s all over it seems like a fuzzy dream. The bright lights. The stage props. The backstage tension.

And those priceless moments on stage with Michael. I’ll share a photo when I get one, he looked so handsome.

In the meantime I’m off to catch a plane to Salt Lake City for a early Christmas party. I’ll be catching up on my blog reading and when I get back, I’m looking forward to finally pulling out those Christmas decorations.

See you all soon,

xoxo

Leslie

 

photos: via my Beatuy and Style Pinterest board

Technorati Tags: holiday dresses,fashion and beauty