Four tips for Fall decorating…

 

Photo: BMG

Every leaf speaks bliss to me, fluttering from the autumn tree.

Emily Bronte

I absolutely love Fall. I love everything about it. The colors, the smells, the recipes!

When the temperatures begin to drop, I consider it an invitation to make our home feel warmer. Here are four tips to get you thinking about welcoming the natural beauty of autumn into your home. And some lovely photos to get you inspired.

Tip One: Begin by adding pops of warm, vibrant colors. Unsure about the colors? Simply go for a walk and look around. Use nature as your guide: the golden hues of fallen leaves, the shades of a burnt, orange sunset, and the rich brown colors of a coarse old tree trunk.

Front Door Ideas

 

  Do you see those caramel apples? Looks like they’re ready for me.

The black door is a perfect backdrop for the orange and red hues. But this dog makes this photo my absolute favorite.

What a clever way to take advantage of all that glass on the front door. I don’t see double wreaths very often, do you?

I appreciate how simple this concept is. Pumpkins stacked on moss. Love it.

The repetition of orange mums makes this a dramatic entrance. And simple white pumpkins are all that’s needed.

You can add touches of gold into your pumpkin display…

Photos: BHG, Country Living, Google Images, Southern Living

Or you can go for the drama of a gilded front door welcome.

Tip Two: Mix up your finishes. Combine metals and wood finishes together. And be daring. Adding simple rustic pieces with modern pieces creates a comfy, eclectic look. Consider placing an old landscape picture with it’s rich colors on your mantel, and arrange layers around it with branches, old frames, fall foliage and candles. Remember to stack items. What if you don’t have a picture that will fit? Use a mirror instead.

 

Photo: Google Images

And of course, you can’t forget those pumpkins…

Tip Three: Add Texture. Here are some easy examples.

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• Place baskets, wood crates, wooden bowls and pottery pieces around your home. These are easy to fill with red apples, pumpkins, gourds, or pinecones.
• Try adding black shades to your chandelier.
• And small berry rings around your chandelier arms.
• Add fillers to your hurricane lamps with nuts, or candy corn.

Photo: pink roses and teacups

 

Photo: Pottery Barn, Country Living, décor pad

Tip Four: Add Fabrics

This is the season to bring out those soft, luxurious fabrics that feel wonderful to touch. Velvets, fur, knitted, and woolen fabrics are just some that add warmth and comfort. And where do you add them?

• Toss a jewel colored throw on your favorite reading chair.
• Add a vintage paisley shawl to your buffet and create a lovely vignette by adding old books, silver pieces and a small lamp.
• Replace your pillows with earthy-colored ones. Paisley and brocade pillows add rich warmth.

Photos: Google Images, Pottery Barn, BHG

Hmm…Now where do I start?

 

Happy Decorating!

 

When was the last time you followed your FEAR?

Photo: Google Image

The other evening I happened to see the seventy-seven year old Gloria Steinem being interviewed on the Charlie Rose show.

Whether you call yourself a feminist or not, most everyone agrees that this American feminist icon, journalist, women’s rights advocate, and founder of the first national women’s magazine run by women, is a person who has led a breathtaking life; one overflowing with accomplishments.

So when Charlie Rose asked Ms. Steinem if she had any regrets about her life, my ears perked up, especially when she said, “Yes” and gave this provocative answer.

“I have regrets…I kept on doing the same thing I already knew how to do, instead of trying to do something new. There’s a great motto for growth (that says) follow your Fear…”

And she regrets that she didn’t follow her fear enough, choosing instead, to take on roles and work that felt comfortable. She went on to elaborate, “I think because I felt so invisible as a child…and to make myself visible, I needed to be useful. So I did that too much.”

These quiet words of reflection by such an out-spoken advocate of women struck a chord in me. Why? Because interestingly enough, Steinem’s regrets were not about any of her controversial, bold actions that catapulted her into history. Instead, her wistful regrets were about things she never tried, new frontiers that she hadn’t pursued.

“ …follow your Fear…”

Pursuing fear? Yikes. It’s a jolting idea for someone like myself, who relishes the comfort of sameness. Yes. I do know myself well enough to understand that so much of my need to control is about preventing those pesky little surprises, those abrupt shifts in my world that happen without warning. So this idea of actively pursuing scary, new, nerve-racking situations has not been my cup of tea.

Only wait a minute, I’m actually right here, joyfully pounding out these words at my computer because I took such a risk.

It  happened when I said “yes” to an opportunity that initially made me uncomfortable. It was a simple job on a Loyola Guild board that required me to try new things; duties that involved searching for prayers, getting personal about God, and sharing my writing at a very intimidating conference table each month. And the result? I ended up with some simple reflections that evolved into the God and Coffee concept, which later transformed into my Gwen Moss blog, a totally mind-boggling idea just months ago.

All this, because I followed my fear, and instead of saying, “that’s not me, I couldn’t do that,” I took a deep breath, ignored my nagging self doubts, and said, “Why not?”

And what about you? As you sit and read these words, answer this question.

Photo: Google Images

 When was the last time you said, “Yes” to something you fear?

It seems that Gloria Steinem is making a distinction. It’s one thing to say “yes” to a job that’s a rehashed role of things you’ve done before, but it’s an utterly different experience to walk into a situation where you feel vulnerable and unsteady; simply because you’re no longer an “expert” at something. In fact, those butterflies in your stomach come from a real, live and throbbing possibility of failing; of leaving your comfort zone and saying “Yes” to something that you may not even KNOW you can do.

Photo: Google Images

How to avoid having regrets…

 

1. Take an inventory right now

Today, when you’re busy going through the details of your day, pay attention to how much of your life is a comfortable repetition of what you already know. Are there times when you feel like you’re simply “going through the motions?” Are you feeling bored with your daily routine?  Gloria Steinem suggested that her painful childhood experience of being invisible led her to seek out repetitive experiences where she could feel recognized and productive. Do you know how your childhood role may affect your decisions as an adult?

You may have pent up ambitions that you’re ignoring. Real desires for something new brewing beneath the surface. The fact is, it’s OK to want more. Even if the kids are still little, or you don’t know exactly what kind of challenge you may be ready for, taking an inventory means putting these honest feelings into words. And knowing yourself.  (You can read more about this HERE)

 

2. Stop saying this: “Oh that’s not me, I couldn’t do that”

How about this statement?  Where does this feeling of self doubt come from?  You need to look deep within, if these are your common thoughts. Because the biggest obstacle to trying new things may be YOU. Or more specifically, the kinds of messages you tell yourself. The truth is, you may be the biggest cheerleader for your children and friends yet secretly put yourself down. And just because you never say your negative self doubts out loud, doesn’t mean that they lose their power over you. Look around. What happens when you see a woman that you admire for her accomplishments, do you put yourself on a lower rung, automatically assuming that she’s more capable, or smarter than you? In fact, even the words that you use can be a window into your self image. For example, if you often find yourself “looking up” to others, the visual image is one of you being beneath someone. And be aware of the people in your life who may reinforce your self- doubts. You might have to build a wider support net for your healthy self image to grow. 

 

3. Uncomfortable feelings? Bring them on!

OK.  I admit this sounds out crazy. But this is because most of us operate under the assumption that emotional discomfort should be avoided at all costs.  But here’s the ultimate truth. Growth is both scary and exciting; yes, you can feel both things at once. It’s uncomfortable to try new things. It’s stressful when we’re pursuing exciting opportunities that will help us grow as women. But those tension headaches or jittery feelings can be managed so that they don’t stop us from moving forward. Begin by answering this BIG question, “What are my fears really about?” Find someone who is a great listener, and who won’t try to shut you down with positive jargon. And explore these fears. Getting through uncomfortable feelings happens quicker when you allow yourself to make sense of them, and to actually FEEL them.

And the next time someone suggests a bold exciting idea that intrigues you, catch yourself. Instead of that

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automatic thought rushing into your head, “Oh no, I couldn’t do that…”

Try thinking this:  “My nervous feelings are a great reminder that I’m alive. And today, anything is possible for me.”

Even a well-timed “Yes,” to something scary.

Photo: weheartit.com

 

 

A Garden-Themed Dinner Party—Ideas, Recipes and Gratitude…

 

This was my inspiration photo. When I saw this photo in April, I was inspired to have a gorgeous garden party, but it never happened. Instead, I found time for a dinner party with a garden theme in the dog days of summer. Here are some ideas you might use.

Background story (because everything has a story)

Well. If you’ve been following my brand new blog, you might have noticed that it was launched at a fairly turbulent time in my life. There was the BIG milestone; one that included the thrill of watching my first-born child graduate from high school and concluded with the inevitable good-byes, as we moved Patrick away to college. And there were the heartbreaking losses of Sierra and Buddy, our beloved family pets, adding even more ripples of emotion into our lives. Yes, it’s been an extraordinary summer of change.

And amid all this, I began writing this blog. Whew. It’s been an interesting experience to figure out how to keep a balance to this blog when there were so things happening in my personal life. Joy. Sadness. Losses. I wanted to be current and truthful in my posts, yet I didn’t want this blog to lose it’s perspective. But I guess this is the struggle we all deal with; the struggle to find a comfortable, emotional balance amid our ever-changing lives.

And what did this summer remind me? It seems anti-climatic, almost an odd reminder to have at my age, but here it is in big bold letters: I was reminded that Time with our loved ones is a gift. And all those moments when when our kids are running through the house leaving predictable messes, and our dogs are shedding on our furniture and needing to be walked, and our husbands are talking with us in the kitchen over a noisy T.V.? All those moments are big, fat blessings.

Oh, and I was also reminded that dear, old, dependable friendships can help you cope with anything.

So for Jim’s birthday dinner with friends, I was inspired to have a garden-themed dinner party that incorporated these ideas:

• Time with those we love is a gift. (Click here to read more on this)
• Thank God for our wonderful friends.

 

The Table

With a garden theme, you can use creative, inexpensive table coverings. I’ve seen beautiful wedding tables covered in burlap and paint drop cloths used at parties. But I wanted to use my old Ralph Lauren tablecloth with the faded vintage-looking floral. The only problem was, it didn’t fit my dining room table, and that’s where I wanted my guests to eat.

Simple solution. I covered my table in a white tablecloth, and folded my RL tablecloth into a square and laid it diagonally down the middle of my table. Since it was already a large size, I only folded it once and it wasn’t too thick. Then, I filled a vase with common garden flowers, freesias, baby daisies and yellow dahlias and placed it in the middle of the table.

I poured some river rocks down the center of the table and placed small white candles throughout. I had found these tiny bird candles at our local Home Goods Store awhile ago. Aren’t they a sweet touch?

 

Little garden touches

And guess what I found at Home Depot?  Packets of Thyme seeds, the perfect addition to my garden table.  What a great way to incorporate my theme about Time being a gift. I printed out a simple message on Avery labels and stuck it on the front of each seed packet. Then I placed it the middle of each plate. The message reads, “so happy to share Thyme with you.”  What do you think?

The place cards were also simple. I used my thrift store terra cotta pots (25 cents each and already nice and stained) filled each pot with baby’s tears and used plant labels for the guest names.

Then, to incorporate my Time element, I used a stamp of a clock.

I typed out the message “Take time to smell the flowers” on cardstock. And I printed the sheets out.

Using sepia ink for a vintage look, I simply dipped the stamp in the ink and applied it over each message. I didn’t want these to look too perfect. Then I cut out the clocks and stuck them on the plant label with double stick tape.

This is the final place card with a personal message for every guest.

Here’s another simple way to personalize your place settings. I picked up a packet of these little charms in the jewelry aisle at Michael’s Crafts Store. They were on sale (six for $2.99). Simple dark brown raffia is used to tie the napkins.

In case you’re wondering where my water goblets are, I chose to have small chilled water bottles in a silver tub. Very casual. So this is the table in the bright afternoon light.

And this was the atmosphere in the evening. You’ll have to excuse this photo, I snapped it when I had my yummy raspberry mojito in my hand and I couldn’t smooth out the tablecloth, but you get the idea.

Gratitude

Before dinner, I read this prayer for our friends. It was the first time we had gotten together after sending our sons off to their prospective colleges, and I think we were all so happy to be together.

Prayer for Friendship

You have blessed us, O God,
with the gift of friendship,
the bonding of persons
in a circle of love.
We thank you for such a blessing:
for friends who love us,
who share our sorrows,
who laugh with us in celebration,
who bear our pain,
who need us as we need them,
who weep as we weep,
who hold us when words fail,
and who give us the freedom
to be ourselves.
Bless our friends with health,
wholeness, life, and love.
Amen.

 http://www.beliefnet.com

 

These words really say it all.

 

Now, in case you’re interested, here’s the menu. You can click on the highlighted items for the actual recipes.

The Menu

Cocktails

Fresh raspberry mojito (Andy’s special recipe)

Red wine

Port (after dinner)

Appetizers

Cheese and grape platter with crackers (Williams Sonoma artisanal platter)

Stuffed dates (Williams Sonoma recipe)

Smoked salmon slices served with capers, egg, sour cream and crackers

Mary’s famous artichoke puff

Red Bell Pepper & Ancho Chili Jam over cream cheese with crackers (found at Trader Joes)

 Dinner

Chicken breast with herbed goat cheese ( Barefoot Contessa recipe)

Risotto with shitake mushrooms, leeks and truffles (Bon Appetit recipe)

Green salad with fresh strawberries

Bread courtesy of Il Forno Classico Restaurant

Dessert

Homemade vanilla ice cream with apple crisp

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Here’s a couple of food notes: The Risotto recipe was a definite hit!

Also, for the chicken breast recipe, I added sundried tomatoes to the goat cheese and it was delicious. Next time I’ll skip the boned breasts, and will try stuffing boneless breasts instead.

I hope these ideas help you plan your next special dinner with your friends or family. Bon appetit my friends!

 

 

 

The Hair Debate: When are you too old for long hair?

 

I hate the title of this post. It makes me cringe, it’s well… so harsh.

But the truth is, it’s time to get my hair trimmed and I can’t help but notice this faint, nagging thought creeping into my head these days. It’s about my hair length. Maybe it has to do with my recent birthday, or maybe it has to do with forty-two year old Jennifer Aniston chopping off her own iconic tresses, but lately I’ve been wondering about all this fuss over hair length and a women’s age.

Don’t get me wrong. I like my hair longer. Over the years I’ve noticed that I feel my best when my hair is in long layers, and worn below my shoulders, and although it’s often pulled back into a ponytail, I still know it’s there, available to toss over my shoulders if I get the urge.

But lately it seems that everyone I know is wearer their hair shorter.  Oh, I realize my observations are pretty informal, but I’m still curious. What makes women in their forties and over, give up their longer hair? And how will I recognize when it’s time for me to get that major haircut?

On a whim, I decide to look for signs that my longer hair is no longer age-appropriate, whatever that means. So I gaze into the mirror, on the hunt for fresh wrinkles and gray hairs that might have snuck out from my hairline during the night, only I find nothing new. In fact, I look just the same as yesterday. And my hair?  No signs of rebellion there. My hair looks perfectly content the way it is, slightly outgrown and in dire need of some highlights.

But this is too easy. Maybe I’m missing something. And suddenly I’m struck by this ominous suspicion. Yikes!

• What if my sweet, reassuring hairdresser can’t be trusted?
• What if there’s been a conspiracy of silence among my friends?
• What if all this time, I’ve been fooling myself?

What if I THINK I look like this:

When I actually look like THIS:

OK, I’m exaggerating. But this topic makes me cranky. Where are the step-by-step instructions for figuring out the best hair length for your age? I don’t ask for that much, just a simple mathematical formula that says, two forehead wrinkles and a sunspot equals one quarter inch of hair.

And where is the wise, soft-spoken Hair Whisperer when you need him? A mystical Yoda, someone who will not tell a lie, or worry about losing me as a client, and instantly prescribe the perfect hair advice for my own special wrinkles, face shape and age.

Diane Keaton: Age 65                                   Madonna: Age 53

Sarah Jessica Parker: Age 46                       Jennifer Lopez: Age 42

Thank goodness for pictures. If you want to see some of the best hairstyles for women over forty, you can begin HERE for inspiration.

And you can ask yourself these two fundamental “over forty” hair questions:

1. Does your hair “pull your face down?”

The general consensus is this; longer hair on women is harder to wear as the face ages. This is because as the face matures, it loses it definition. Gravity causes things to droop. Long hair around the face adds weight and heaviness around the face, and this can seem to  “pull the face down,”  drawing more attention to saggy eyelids or a softer jawline.

According to Lynne Chapman, “Should Older Women Wear Long Hair?”,  you can assess your current haircut this way: pull your hair up and away from your face to see if you look thinner or more youthful, without the long hair hanging next to your face. If the answer is yes, you can still keep your hair longer, but improve it by adding layers, which can “lighten” your look.

2. Have you changed your hair color lately?

And don’t forget color. According to Tippi Shorter, a member of the Pantene Relaxed and Natural Academy of Science and Style and also a celebrity stylist whose clients include Jada Pinkett Smith, color is especially important for women in their forties and over. She warns that as women age, one very common mistake is to go too blonde in an attempt to cover your gray, or to hold on to that jet black hue. She advises adding lighter highlights that will add “lift” to a woman’s face. (“Is your hair aging you?” Didi Gluck)

Whew. it’s a lot to consider. So what will I do at my next hair appointment?

I think I’ve figured it out.

My five steps to finding the perfect length for my hair at my next appointment:

1. Read this Style article: “Are you too old for long hair?” before my hair appointment.
2. Sit in the chair and talk to my hairdresser about her upcoming wedding in October. Love those details!
3. Close my eyes and enjoy those brief, but luxurious moments of hair washing.
4. Sip my green tea, open the latest Vanity Fair magazine and prepare to dive into a juicy article.
5. And my hair? Oh that. It’s really simple. I’ll just do whatever I darn well please.

 

And now, for the fun stuff….

 

   Apple martinis anyone?

 

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Dinner party ideas- for a South-of-the-Border theme

Don’t you just love a party with a fiesta theme?  Who can resist ice-cold Margaritas and homemade chips and salsa?

The other evening we had family over to celebrate Jim’s birthday, which gave me a chance to create a fun, bright- colored table for our guests. Here are some ideas you might use for your next south-of-the-border dinner party.

First of all, I like making special invitations. I truly believe invitations set the tone for your event and plus, they’re just so darn nice to receive.

Here’s an invitation I did for a surprise fiesta party using a wood piece sold at Michael’s Crafts Store. It was already painted and I simply added a strip of hot glue around the rim of the glass, and dipped it in kosher salt (front). Then, I printed out the party details which got glued on black paper and placed on the back side. I added a little message by creating a beaded wine tag.

This is how I put the table together:

I used the only white tablecloth I had on hand, slightly on the short side, but it would have to do.

Then I bought a vibrant blue remnant at Hancock Fabrics @ $4.00 a yard (I used one and a half yards). It was already cut into a square, which I placed on the table at a diagonal. Then I picked a multi-colored fabric that  coordinated with the colors of my dinner plates and arranged it under the candles. I only needed one and a quarter yards of this fiesta-looking fabric, and with a discount coupon I paid four bucks.

And remember those red and yellow tissue pom-poms from our graduation party? I tied a few to my chandelier with fishing wire and added a hot pink and blue one to get the fiesta colors in there. These are very easy to make and directions are also at my graduation party post.

Two easy-to-make place cards for your south-of-the-border dinner party

This is the simplest one. I bought this 2 fluid oz. bottle of Tabasco sauce at Wal-Mart for $1.34, but you can also find these at the dollar store. Write each guest’s name with a cute message on one of the Avery tags below. Tie it over the bottle and you’re done! I found this package of Avery tags (100 for $1.68) during my shopping trip to Wal-Mart. I also found the cute miniature clothespins there. ($1.88 for a dozen)

Depending on your budget and the number of guests you have, you could consider this second option.

I bought the cactus for $2.75 at Wal-Mart.  I stuck the cactus into a small terra cotta pot from Michaels Crafts Store. I used some red and yellow cardstock I had on hand. I picked a cute font, printed the name on yellow cardstock, and with a glue stick attached it to a piece of red cardstock for the front of the pot. A miniature clothespin holds it to the pot.

These are the items I used for this table:

Dinnerware: Pier 1

Napkin rings: Pier 1

Red napkins (my Christmas napkins)

Yellow stemware (my Thanksgiving glasses)

Hurricanes, candles and fake flowers: mine

Pom-Pom tissue balls: recycled from grad party; made two additional colors @ 99 cents each

Place cards: homemade

 

The Menu:

Homemade chicken enchiladas

Refried beans

Pork chili (with green chili sauce)

Salad

Flour tortillas

Homemade chips and salsa

Icy Margaritas, of course

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…And after all this? Take a deep breath, be in the moment and relish your time with your guests!

You deserve it.

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