why I changed my blog header

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Changing a blog header is sort of a big deal.

In case you don’t know, blog headers are considered an invaluable piece of blog real estate. That’s because the header is the top portion of the blog, and it’s the first thing that the reader sees, so its impact is immediate.

Whenever I find myself on a new blog, it’s the header that makes a powerful first impression by conveying a few things; it sets a tone and personality not only for the blog’s content, but it also tells me a bit about the blogger.

Last July when I first put my little toe into the blogger world, I didn’t know much about blogs. I began a blog because I wanted to share some of my on-going DIY projects and parties with others who might like a few ideas, but I didn’t know how I’d feel once I started writing posts. But in the last several months I’ve learned a few things.

I’ve learned that while I still love home design, party planning, and creating pretty tablescapes there is an ebb and flow to my interests. There are also books to discuss. Interviews that I long to do. And of course, there was that other life I had inside the world of eating disorders that craves an occasional mention.

Frankly, at my age I enjoy exploring the messier side of life. You know. It’s the one that isn’t so apparent in the beautifully staged world of design blogs, but I think it’s what connects us all.

Which brings me to my decision to change the sweet, light-hearted Gwen Moss graphic perched over a cup of coffee. I’m still fond of my little image. But it was starting to gnaw at me. Each time I came to my own blog it began to feel like a glance in the mirror at a dated hair cut. I knew why I originally picked it, but it no longer felt like “Me.”

So I decided it was time for a change.

The female mannequin is a sentimental reminder of my work with women and body image, as well as my years in Los Angeles. And I love it even more because it’s draped in funky jewelry and set against a clean white background. It’s more quirky and without all those words in the header, a bit ambiguous. But that’s Ok, it suits me better.

I hope you like it too.

 

Leslie

 

 

Technorati Tags: blogging,why i changed my header

change feels good today…

Hi everyone, for the last few days I’m been working on a few design changes for Gwen Moss blog so I’ve basically been holed in my office every free moment... tweaking things. And I’m excited and nervous at the same time. It’s just me and my BFF, otherwise known as Mr. Photoshop, and while I’m trying to refrain from obsessing about every little thing, it’s really hard. It’s mostly because I find the entire process of working with images and colors and fonts to be sheer joy.

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Only I’m a bit nervous about the technical part of applying these changes to my blog, and I’m hoping I won’t run into problems uploading what I consider to be a new and improved look. But you and I will find out shortly. And I hope you approve, I really do, because I’m so ready for a change…

Do you ever feel that way? You know. It’s when you’re absolutely ready to change that ONE thing in your life because it feels so right?

Well, that’s how I’m feeling right now. And I’m just hoping that it all goes well.

…to be continued…..

 

Leslie

 

 

Technorati Tags: life of a blogger

Dear Einstein, do scientists pray?

Dear Readers,

Years ago, I discovered a six-hundred-plus page book entitled, Einstein, The Life and Times by Ronald W. Clark, in an old used bookstore.

Since I had always been curious about Einstein, I readily scooped it up. And to the delight of my nerdy-excitable self, it was filled with lush details that captivated me throughout that summer. I distinctly remember lugging it to the neighborhood pool and scouring the pages of Einstein’s complex world while my boys splashed and frolicked in their nearby swim lessons. Funny, but the page corners are still bent where I had bookmarked the basic explanations of the Theory of Relativity and the dimension of “real” time, concepts that I personally found mind-bending and slightly surreal, but which left me utterly fascinated by the story of Einstein, the father, the scientist, and the man.

The other day, I received the following letters sent to and from Einstein from my RSS feed to Letters of Note. If you’re interested in receiving similar letters about real people, some distinct and some quite ordinary, you can click HERE for more information.

In the meantime, I thought I would share this material with you.

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In January of 1936, a young girl named Phyllis wrote to Albert Einstein on behalf of her Sunday school class, and asked, "Do scientists pray?" Her letter, and Einstein's reply, can be read below.
(Source: Dear Professor Einstein; Image: Albert Einstein in 1947, via Life.)

 

The Riverside Church
January 19, 1936
My dear Dr. Einstein,
We have brought up the question: Do scientists pray? in our Sunday school class. It began by asking whether we could believe in both science and religion. We are writing to scientists and other important men, to try and have our own question answered.
We will feel greatly honored if you will answer our question: Do scientists pray, and what do they pray for?
We are in the sixth grade, Miss Ellis's class.
Respectfully yours,
Phyllis

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January 24, 1936

Dear Phyllis,
I will attempt to reply to your question as simply as I can. Here is my answer:
Scientists believe that every occurrence, including the affairs of human beings, is due to the laws of nature. Therefore a scientist cannot be inclined to believe that the course of events can be influenced by prayer, that is, by a supernaturally manifested wish.
However, we must concede that our actual knowledge of these forces is imperfect, so that in the end the belief in the existence of a final, ultimate spirit rests on a kind of faith. Such belief remains widespread even with the current achievements in science.
But also, everyone who is seriously involved in the pursuit of science becomes convinced that some spirit is manifest in the laws of the universe, one that is vastly superior to that of man. In this way the pursuit of science leads to a religious feeling of a special sort, which is surely quite different from the religiosity of someone more naive.
With cordial greetings,
your A. Einstein

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So there it is. Einstein’s belief that “science leads to a religious feeling of a special sort…”

As a mother, I personally love the fact that Einstein would take time to respond to the questions of a sixth grader, especially considering his world renowned status and the endless requests for his personal time.

Oh, by the way, when I was taking a photo of the book for this post, I noticed a faux signature on the inside cover. I had never seen it before, not once during that long ago summer, and I have to admit that it got my heart beating quicker for a whole second. It’s written to someone named Sam.

Sigh. If only….

Oh well, this is why I absolutely love shopping in used bookstores. Every so often you open up a worn, tattered book jacket and discover a hand-written message from another era. It’s so cool.

 

Did you find this post interesting? Don’t forget to become a follower by clicking on the blue button…

And thank you so much for stopping by.

Leslie

 

 

Technorati Tags: Albert Einstein,letter,on religion

a chat about books, aging, girlfriends and kids …

Journalist and Pulitzer Prize-winning author and New York Times Op-ed writer Anna Quindlen came into town yesterday. Well, not exactly into my town, but close enough for me to hop in the car with Mr. Moss and attend her book signing at the West Portal Book store in the heart of San Francisco. Are you familiar with any of her fiction or her non-fiction books?

Her latest book is her memoir entitled, Lots of Candles, Plenty of Cake. And, as you can see, she signed my book.

The book signing was at 7 pm in West Portal, an affluent community near the southern edge of the hills in central San Francisco, and we arrived a bit late. I first became intrigued about Quindlen’s latest book when I saw this quote about parenting.

The ultimate pay-it-forward endeavor. Wow. I absolutely love and agree with this perspective and I’ve  already included it in this post on motherhood. What do you think about her view of parenting? Do you agree?

Despite my ( weak and feeble) protests to my hubby, “Don’t worry, I won’t get lost,” he ended up taking off early from work to drive me. And yes, I confess, I was so relieved to have his company and his sense of direction along for the ride. Once we got through the commuter traffic, it actually wasn’t bad.

We discovered a tree-lined neighborhood on Santa Clara Avenue that delivered us to a street lined with eclectic shops and a vintage theater.

The West Portal Bookstore was inconspicuous from the outside, but inside it had a cozy, urban feel that I immediately liked. Apparently, this was one of the many book signings that regularly happen there. And it was jam-packed with what my husband jokingly referred to as Anna’s posse, a mostly female audience aged forty and over, asking intelligent questions about books, aging, kids, and of course, the dynamics between women and men.

I wish you could have been there. I really think you would have enjoyed the discussion.

These are some of the bits and pieces of commentary that struck me as interesting.

On the topic of aging:

…she questioned our culture’s deep-seated views about getting older. She noted that it’s clearly a negative perspective that affects both men and women. And as an example, she mentioned the universal responses she got whenever she mentioned that her current book was on the topic of aging. It’s a topic that immediately triggered comments about one’s physical ailments, such as,  “Ohhh... let me tell you about my latest injury, my sore rotary cup, those sun spots on my hands etc.…” Why, she wondered do we over-focus on the losses and not on the fact that most of us are wiser, more experienced, and more financially better off than when we were twenty-five? When she asks people if they would truly want to be in their twenties again, the consensus is no.

By the way, actress Jamie Lee Curtis recently wrote an article in the Huffington Post about a similar topic. Why, she wondered, is the word “anti” always in front of the word, “aging,” when aging is such a natural part of life. If you want to read this article, click HERE.

On the differences between men and women friendships:

…she believes that women need their girlfriends even more as they get older. When pressed, she tends to view men as more linear and women as more circular in their experience of their friendships. Men tend to want to “do things” with their guy friends, similar to what we mothers called ‘parallel play’ in the preschool years. A man’s friendships tend to be action-oriented. Conversely, women want to  “talk about things” with their girlfriends. Share the details of their lives. Emote.

On the topic of reading:

…she loves 19th century writers such as Charles Dickens and Jane Austen. She rereads Dickens every so often because she keeps learning something (about writing) each time. And she listed a whole lot of contemporary authors as well which I didn’t jot down. I also found out that she gets her daily information online from Huffington Post, Daily Kos, Politico, Times and the Washington Post website; in addition, she is still an “ink and paper” person who also reads the New York Times, Post and News, and The Wall Street Journal. For fun she reads the Gawker, Vanity Fair, Newsweek, The New Yorker and People. (Atlantic Wire, March 2012)

On the topic of Fifty Shades of Grey, the latest best-seller that women everywhere are reading:

I had to know.  Did Anna Quindlen read Fifty Shades of Grey yet? Would she ever?

I had recently read Marlo Thomas’s piece in the Huffington Post in which she admitted that after all the hype, she had to read it and find out why it’s so popular with women.

When I posed this question to Anna Quindlen, she winced and said she had “skimmed through it,” but acknowledged she has a hard time reading poorly written material. “I know I’m supposed to focus on the porn, but when the prose is so bad, I just can’t,” she replied with a half-smile.

Well, there it is, my two-second conversation with Anna Quindlen, whom I might add, I found to be sharp, confident and utterly interesting. So just as soon as I finish the two books I’m currently reading, her book is next.

How about you. What are reading right now?

Bye for now my friends,

 

Leslie

 

Technorati Tags: anna quindlen,on fifty shades of grey and other topics,book signing

Practicing forgiveness in a polarized society, how’s it working for you?

Today I posted on my God and Coffee blog. Here’s an excerpt:

We all know what forgiveness means while we’re sitting in the pew of our church. But what happens when we walk out into the real world, one that is populated by people that hold beliefs and values that are very different than our own?

I have to confess. I get so darn depressed when I listen to the ugly personal attacks that are now a common part of our political campaign season. The other day, I overheard somebody say, “I hate Obama!” without any apparent hesitation, nor was there any mention about his policies. I understand the intensity. But can we please have some self-awareness? Can we at least TRY to maintain a kernel of civility when we discuss heated issues?

So this morning when I opened up my Sojourner’s email to find this thoughtful article called, Fear, Forgiveness and the Mosque at Ground Zero,  I was curious.

If you’re interested in this topic, read more HERE.

 

 

 

Technorati Tags: practicing forgiveness

the ever-changing world of motherhood. Gulp.

 

Yesterday was another first.

My first Mother’s Day without one of my kids. And you know what? It went just fine. I’m actually learning that this is more or less how Life works these days as a mother of a college-age son. First you face a lump-in-the-throat loss, you feel sad, you bend, you adjust, the day comes and goes and even surprises you with sunny, beautiful moments, and afterwards, you find yourself pleasantly restored.

Only somehow, you are different. You feel yourself becoming a tad more sturdy and weathered, like the giant Oak tree that gradually conforms to persistent winds by being bent and imperfect, a stronger version after the storms.

I think that’s the reality of mothering, don’t you?  We are constantly in a state of adapting to our children’s latest growth spurt toward adulthood; watching and stepping back and participating in the delicate dance toward our child’s ultimate independence that bring us both joy and yes, wistful loss. One minute we are a one-man fan club, a giddy, cheering observer of our child’s smallest success.  And the next minute we are suddenly needed in a different way. So we quietly listen and encourage them from a respectful distance because loving our children ultimately involves the act of letting them go…

Isn’t that the truth?

I did have a wonderful phone conversation with Patrick. He was in the midst of studying for his week of finals and the library was jam-packed with other students just like him, who were not home with their mothers but were also at school. And at some point during our conversation, it hit me. Of course. There were a whole lot of other mothers who did not have their kids with them. What was I thinking?

Welcome to a newfound territory, Leslie, life is a-changing.

So yes, it was my first Mother’s Day without one of my children.

And it was also another first; it was my own mother’s first Mother’s Day without her mother. Which presented my mother and me with a silent bond between us on this gorgeous, sun-drenched afternoon. My mom got teary over her salad when she talked about Grandma Mary, and I got teary when I read Michael’s hand-written note.

And the teary moments passed naturally and we all chatted and laughed over our dinner. And I felt so incredibly grateful…

a lazy breakfast with Michael, a walk with Stella, a shopping trip with Mr. Moss to an antique store, time with my parents, a long, detail-filled conversation with Patrick…

And that was how my day went. How was your day?

Did you feel grateful too?

Leslie

 

Technorati Tags: motherhood,letting go,mother's day,gratitude

the best mothering advice I ever got (from my mother)

tinywhitedaisies.com

As Mother’s Day approaches, I thought I would write a sentimental post about my own mother… and without a second’s thought, I knew what I wanted to write about; I ended up reminiscing about the best advice she ever gave me about mothering.

But it’s funny how life works out.

During my years in the psychotherapy field, I was captivated by the mother-infant relationship. I wanted to understand the tender dynamics between mother and child, not only to enlarge my work inside the session room, but as a way of understanding certain questions I had about myself. And like a powerful magnet, I was drawn to the works of those I considered to be sensitive and astute researchers and clinicians in the field.

tinywhitedaisies.com

I especially loved the “mirroring” concept of British Psychoanalyst D.W. Winnicott, and I can actually remember feeling weak-kneed as my eyes read over the pages of Alice Miller’s acclaimed book, The Drama of a Gifted Child.

And there were so many of these powerful ideas that helped shape my own mothering experience years later, when I actually had children of my own.

But the truth is, probably the best practical advice I ever got about mothering came from my own mother, a woman who never stepped a foot inside a college classroom, and barely graduated from high school.

It was her sage advice that I chose to follow, and I’m thankful that I did. Because today I can see the transformative affect that her words have had on my life with my sons.

“The house will be there tomorrow,” she would say, “go spend time with the boys.”

That’s it. That was her consistent message to me.

And just like that, she made me step away from my neurotic, Type A worries about my messy kitchen and instead, offered me a window into the future. Her words jolted me. They were a ticking clock that reminded me that life would not always be like this and that time goes by way too fast when our children are small.

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Her words simplified my list-of-things-to-do  and they freed me from my guilt, because the reality is, I’ve never been the kind of mother who could maintain a shining, mess-free house. My home has always looked lived in; and when you have a busy life with kids, it's easy to compare yourself to other mothers, and to look around and wonder how they’re juggling it all. It’s too easy to wonder why their house looks so perfect and why their nails are always done.

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My mom’s advice helped me stop my comparisons.

Her words offered me a source of comfort that wasn’t tied up in the perfection of my house or my life. Instead, her words brought me back to real life values. And the concept of Time.

 

Yes, there are moments that are too precious to miss.

And yes, when there’s a choice between having a beautiful, spotless home, or spending time with your child it’s a crystal-clear decision. Choose the quality time with your child. Choose the smudgy fingerprints on the walls because they come with laughing voices and running feet. And stop putting those darn dishes into the dishwasher if your child suddenly comes into the kitchen to share something about his day.

Because as a parent looking back at those treasured years today, I see the honest-to-goodness truth: when it comes to your kids, you’re either there or you’re not, it’s that simple.

So thank you Mom, for your wisdom. I have to admit, you were right.

And this message is for YOU and for all the mothers who have somehow found their way to my little post.

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Because You deserve to....

Wishing you a day surrounded by those you love.

Happy Mother’s Day my friends,

Leslie

Technorati Tags: best mothering advice,mother's day thoughts