Last night was The Big Night.
Last night at 7:30 p.m. our yoga studio was jam-packed with family and friends---mostly strangers that I had never met before—who had all been invited to our first ever “real” yoga class. The mats were lined up in rows and I had to be careful not to step on someone when I was walking to the front of the class. The room was full and steamy from all the bodies.
Both of my boys --Patrick and Michael--were there on their mats too, as my guests, one on each side of me. Even though they didn’t have much yoga experience. But there were A LOT of beginners there---husbands, moms and friends who had come to offer their love and support and be taught by us.
The twelve students in my Yoga Teacher Training Course.
The lights were lowered, the yoga music--a carefully composed hour of music with a slow-building momentum —was playing softly in the background.
And when the time came for me to get up to teach the part of the class I had been assigned—I did it.
My voice was strong.
And I felt good. God knows I had practiced this part so much I couldn’t practice anymore. I had been that paranoid about having a “blank” moment in front of everyone (amazing what fear of public humiliation will do, but hey, it worked).
And I have to admit. It felt absolutely AMAZING.
I did it! After all my struggling, after all my self doubts, after feeling worried sick and so overwhelmed that I might never get through all the requirements for this 200 hour training course. Especially the teaching part.
Especially this one night standing in front of a class of strangers.
To be perfectly honest, only a few weeks ago I couldn’t even imagine being able to do this.
In fact, this might be what all my joy is really about on this morning after. While it’s true I’m ecstatic that I was able to do a good job….
Do you know what’s most meaningful to me about it all?
It’s the fact that it happened after all my agonizing. Despite all my self-doubts.
You know.
I think this might be the most under-rated moment in our lives.
That moment when we pick ourselves up during a time of uncertainty and keep going…
That one moment when we feel like throwing in the towel, but we don’t. We keep trudging forward, lugging all our tender feelings with us.
I’m wondering, why don’t we slow down and celebrate these moments more?
After all, these are the ones that really matter, those moments when we quietly choose NOT to give up our hope.
Because after it’s all over and we look back on our difficult times, these are the moments that define us. Those moments that forced us to reach a little deeper inside for a strength we didn’t know we had.
But we did.
Today I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.
- All 5 yoga teacher observations done.
- All 40 required outside yoga classes done.
- All weekly homework and essays done.
- Anatomy essay done.
- All 30 journal entries done.
- Teaching to Family/Friends Real Yoga Class done.
I have this left : The final examination
and One Hour Long Teaching session to perform.
I’m almost there.
The teacher in Me acknowledges the Teacher in You,
peace and love to all my wonderful readers,
I am so grateful for you.
xo
Leslie
sharing with friends:
other posts on my Yoga Teacher Training:
Have you ever felt like an imposter?
23 comments:
Congratulations Leslie! You did it! I knew that you would! How wonderful o have all of your friends and family there to celebrate this wonderful moment with you!
I am so excited for you! Good luck with the final!
So happy for you - and proud of you Leslie....reading this made me want to cry.
WELL DONE....you did it, you are doing it!
And I love that your boys were there!!
Sending love to you, you have inspired me with this post, thank you Xx
Huge kudos to you my dear! I am ever so inspired by your accomplishment … especially the part of overcoming fear in the pursuit of
a goal and life vision! It reminds me of the literal … months I tried surfing before I could stand up … But when I did and rode all the way in … It was the first and only time in my life … I cried tears of joy at the sheer experience of doing it! In that moment I had overcome years of body shame and eating disorders … as well as feeling one with God on the ride!
Thank you Leslie … for doing what you do … and reminding us to savor life's precious and meaningful moments … of accomplishment and spiritual connection.
I send you much love my dear friend!
xoxo
Tamera
Congratulations Leslie! It always feels so good to accomplish something you set about doing, but yet feared you couldn't. How fun to have your boys alongside you in this journey as well. They are learning from you!
We are so proud of YOU! I wish we were neighbors so I could give you a big hug. You are such an inspiration to those of us who only "wish we could". You can do ANYTHING now!
Namaste
Hello Leslie! Congrats from the bottom of my heart! So happy for you and even happier that you post showed up in my email for the first time in at least 9 months! I shall now have to spend some time in bed with my tablet reading about all that has been happening in your life. I can't wait. My heart is telling me that it is monumental.
Congratulations Leslie! Wow, that's really a lot to have to tackle and you've done it. I'm so happy for you.
xo,
Karen
Congrats Leslie, a great achievement! You will be fine in the last test. I don,t know why I have not been receiving your posts, but I got this one so I hope to catch up on your previous posts I missed. Have a wonderful weekend! Patty/NS
Many, many congratulations Leslie, such an accomplishment, I'm absolutely delighted for you; wishing you much happiness in your world of yoga..you are truly amazing.
Sending you much love,
Catherine xx
I am so happy FOR you, and inspired BY you, Leslie. I am sharing your happiness today! You ARE doing this!
Wow, you did it! Good job, Girl! And your post showed up in my email for the first time in a long time too. That makes me so happy because I love your blog. You rock!
Congratulations Leslie - you have beaming with pride for you, such an amazing accomplishment. I am just taking a yoga class but I truly love it and my teacher so much! Good luck on your final exam - you can do it!!! xxoo
Woo hoo!!! You're almost there and you've gained so much more than what you signed up for, Leslie. Congratulations and best wishes!
Congrats Leslie! Yes, we really should celebrate those moments more!
Cheers! Shelley
Congratulations! You'll do fab on your exam and teach a terrifc class. It's a great accomplishment to challenge ourselves, rise to the occaision and win!
Namaste
Congratulations!
I knew you would do a fabulous job!
Congratulations. I love that your boys came with you.
xx oo
Carla
YOU DID IT!!!
I bet it FELT W O N D E R F U L TOO!
You are on the TOP of your GAME!
Nothing can stop you now.........YOU will FLY through the rest!
XX
Congratulations Leslie! Seriously you are my hero ...and may I say you look fabulous as well! You should be so proud of yourself!
I love this!!! Yay you!!!! And I love your insight into underrated moments. It's true. We blast it out to whomever we can when we have a big success but we should really shout it out when we get up and keep going after we have struggled. This is fabulous advice. And so so sweet of your boys to be there :))) revel in the moment! And thank you for sharing these helpful thoughts!!
Hi Leslie,
I read the previous post as well as this one and I think it sounds courageous and stressful all at the same time. Funny how we continue to push ourselves to achieve, hey? I always thought that when I reached my mid-fifties (I'm 54), I would be looking at the finish line, and hopefully would be in a good place to just glide into the home base. But I wonder if the drive to learn continues on for most of us, until we draw last breath? Lately I've been contemplating complete career change, and then I shake myself and think, get a grip, stick it out, why go through the pain of learning, mastering, being hired, the self-doubt, the having to prove oneself all over again. But maybe you've laid it out for us here: that there is something in the doing and mastering that overrides everything else. You are courageous Leslie. You would be the teacher of yoga I would want, and it would have nothing to do with the two of us being in the same age group. More about your life story and what you have valued. xx Nancy
oh i am so thrilled for you!!!! you're almost there. and i totally agree with this thought that we should celebrate and savor these milestones that we reached only by persevering and overcoming self-doubt. go get em, leslie! totally inspired here.
Leslie, two words, You Rock! XXX
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