Last night was The Big Night.
Last night at 7:30 p.m. our yoga studio was jam-packed with family and friends---mostly strangers that I had never met before—who had all been invited to our first ever “real” yoga class. The mats were lined up in rows and I had to be careful not to step on someone when I was walking to the front of the class. The room was full and steamy from all the bodies.
Both of my boys --Patrick and Michael--were there on their mats too, as my guests, one on each side of me. Even though they didn’t have much yoga experience. But there were A LOT of beginners there---husbands, moms and friends who had come to offer their love and support and be taught by us.
The twelve students in my Yoga Teacher Training Course.
The lights were lowered, the yoga music--a carefully composed hour of music with a slow-building momentum —was playing softly in the background.
And when the time came for me to get up to teach the part of the class I had been assigned—I did it.
My voice was strong.
And I felt good. God knows I had practiced this part so much I couldn’t practice anymore. I had been that paranoid about having a “blank” moment in front of everyone (amazing what fear of public humiliation will do, but hey, it worked).
And I have to admit. It felt absolutely AMAZING.
I did it! After all my struggling, after all my self doubts, after feeling worried sick and so overwhelmed that I might never get through all the requirements for this 200 hour training course. Especially the teaching part.
Especially this one night standing in front of a class of strangers.
To be perfectly honest, only a few weeks ago I couldn’t even imagine being able to do this.
In fact, this might be what all my joy is really about on this morning after. While it’s true I’m ecstatic that I was able to do a good job….
Do you know what’s most meaningful to me about it all?
It’s the fact that it happened after all my agonizing. Despite all my self-doubts.
I think this might be the most under-rated moment in our lives.
That moment when we pick ourselves up during a time of uncertainty and keep going…
That one moment when we feel like throwing in the towel, but we don’t. We keep trudging forward, lugging all our tender feelings with us.
I’m wondering, why don’t we slow down and celebrate these moments more?
After all, these are the ones that really matter, those moments when we quietly choose NOT to give up our hope.
Because after it’s all over and we look back on our difficult times, these are the moments that define us. Those moments that forced us to reach a little deeper inside for a strength we didn’t know we had.
But we did.
Today I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.
- All 5 yoga teacher observations done.
- All 40 required outside yoga classes done.
- All weekly homework and essays done.
- Anatomy essay done.
- All 30 journal entries done.
- Teaching to Family/Friends Real Yoga Class done.
I have this left : The final examination
and One Hour Long Teaching session to perform.
I’m almost there.
The teacher in Me acknowledges the Teacher in You,
peace and love to all my wonderful readers,
I am so grateful for you.
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other posts on my Yoga Teacher Training: