It’s been a hectic ten days and to be honest, I don’t even know where to begin. Every time I think of my blog I’ll have a post in my head that I plan on writing, and then poof! The topic suddenly feels outdated and is replaced by the latest happenings in my fluid, changing life. And of course, nothing gets written.
So today I decided to just start writing and this is what came out. Yep. Just a few things that I’ve learned lately and maybe you’ll be able to relate.
Here it goes:
Lesson 1: Having your best friends sell your home
is a blessing
(thank you Kirsten and John)
In case you’re wondering we had our second Open House and it went well. I don’t want to jinx anything so I’ll share more later when things are definite.
But I actually had fun staging our home with fresh flowers and a less cluttered approach.
Kirsten was our realtor-hostess for both the Open Houses and I never realized how reassuring it would feel to have a friend standing in your place when strangers meander through your rooms. She has her own memories of parties and laughter and fun times in our home and I think people felt her happy connection to our home.
Our first Open House was during December when it was all dressed up for Christmas and Kirsten told me that we had visitors staying an unusually long time, just checking out the decorations. It’s been fun to listen to her descriptions of people and to hear their comments about my house. Don’t you wonder what people would say about your home when you’re not there? Luckily, the comments have been mostly kind.
I’ve even gotten several sweet emails from women who have walked through my home and gotten my blog address from Kirsten.
Emails like this one:
Hello. I also live in Gold River and first noticed your home in Gold River Online, all dressed up for Christmas, and I just loved it. Yesterday your house was on OpenHouse, so I went by to see it in person. What a wonderful decorator you are. The realtor told me about your Blogspot, and I have just spent some time taking a look at your ideas and comments. I just love everything about it. I don't know where you are moving, (noticed in this morning's Gold River Online e-mail that a sale is pending - good luck) but I will follow you through your Blog. Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts with those of us who need some help. Mary
(Mary, where ever you are-I hope this little beam of happiness you sent me
finds its way back to you)
Lesson 2: Closeness does not mean Sameness.
This month has been a reminder to me about healthy boundaries. Because sometimes conflicts happen that require you to draw a line and state very clearly, “this is where I end, and you begin,” and we are different. And that’s perfectly fine.
Sometimes we have to remember there is a difference between closeness and sameness. And just because you have a ‘close’ extended family does not mean that everyone shares the same views, opinions, values and feelings.
You can love your family dearly, but still disagree on major issues. And you should never be made to feel guilt or pressure for being ‘different’ from other family members.
This was a life lesson that took me years to emotionally learn.
You have the right to make your own decisions without guilt. You have a right to make choices without having to always explain and justify your stance. Because the truth is, intrusive people who love you are still being intrusive, even when it’s disguised as love and concern.
Lesson 3: Even when I think I’m in control…
I am not in control
Ok universe. How many times do you have to remind me?
Right after we signed papers with John and Kirsten over a bottle of wine, we headed down to Huntington Beach to celebrate Michael’s 19th birthday with him. It was his first birthday away from home and I felt a tremendous pull to be with him.
Unfortunately our three whirlwind days were filled with one stressful moment after another, so I won’t even bother to list them. Although one of the highlights happened when my cell phone was stolen during our short meeting with a realtor. One minute we were inside an empty house, and the next minute we were making a mad dash back to the highly congested spot where I dropped it.
And of course it was gone.
But because I had never synched my phone up to iCloud, (what the heck was iCloud ?) all my text messages (throughout the high school years) and photos were gone. Luckily, I had uploaded most of my photos to my home computer, but those text messages represented a chunk of life that is simply irreplaceable.
And yes. I moaned over this loss. I got outraged by the unfairness of it, did my usual second-guessing and re-tracing my steps over and over until it hit me. Maybe this is my lesson right now.
Because this is what Life seems intent on teaching me these days.
Things will come and go and even when we think we’re clutching tightly enough to our dearest possessions and our loved ones and our physical beauty…so that we avoid loss at any cost, life has a way of reminding us that attaching to things ultimately causes heartache.
It’s something I grapple with. Even though life is always changing, it’s not the shifting winds that causes me problems, it’s the holding on and insisting that things stay the same.
I don’t like this lesson, Life.
Not one bit.
But at least I’m learning.
Can you relate to any of this?
I’d love to know.
I’m partying with these friends: