It’s late at night and I’m tired. Today was one of those busy days where I felt pulled in so many directions that even though I ended up accomplishing a lot of stuff, the details belonged to different parts of my life. So in the end, instead of feeling a sense of satisfaction, tonight my eyes glance over at the laundry that I never got around to, and the work project that’s still sitting on my desk, untouched.
And I shake my head. Because honestly, it’s hard to feel pleased about what I did get done, when there are so many things still unfinished under those scattered categories in my head.
Yes, I made progress on my event’s budget, board member gifts, favors and invites. But I didn’t get to my marketing project. Yes I went grocery shopping and cooked for my sick son, but I didn’t have time to write a post. Yes, I cleaned my guest bathroom, but I never had time to exercise. The trades off are everywhere. So I end up feeling frustrated, and I wonder, would it be different if I could focus on ONE thing? Would I finally attain that elusive sense of catching up?
Because I remember those BK (Before-Kids) days when my career was my central focus, but I also remember having luxurious stretches of ME time, so that I could meander for hours in stylish boutiques in my quest for the perfect outfit. And I used to have nails that were always done; and I remember how easy it was to shrug away tension on a Friday night over dinner and wine, when I didn’t have a household to manage and kids and sports schedules on my mind and a school calendar on my desk.
Multi-tasking. It’s so over-rated.
I’m aware that it’s now become a complimentary label for today’s high-functioning woman; a description for that successful female juggler of career and family life, a woman who is gloriously “having it all” while appearing calm and fit, because of course, she got her run in this morning.
But I don’t believe it. In fact, multi-tasking simply leaves me feeling like I’m under-performing in a lot of different areas. All at once.
Instead of being an “A” student in all my subjects, I feel chronically average in my multiple-jobs. And sometimes there are moments when I feel like a downright failure, a harried student getting a big fat “F” in my scrambling attempts to do it all.
Do you ever feel this way?
This is the illusion of multi-tasking. It’s the idea that we can “have it all.”
It’s the faulty belief that we can do everything at an “A” quality when of course, it’s impossible. Because the truth is, Life is one big bargaining act, of weighing one thing against another and then making a choice. And the older I get, the more I realize that every breath I inhale will lead me to a decision about how I want to spend my precious, diamond-like moments.
Life, is constantly requiring that I define my values in a hundred little decisions each day. And when I choose which ‘task’ I want to love and embrace with all my attention, I am answering back: this is Me.
Technically, we can “have it all,” but we decide what’s really important. We prioritize and decide which items to toss off our list.
Because it comes down to, “What do we value more, is it A or B?” And then we juggle.
I know this fact, deep down. And I get mad at myself when I forget this truth and I’m rushing around at full speed trying to ‘have it all’ in some glossy-perfect-magazine-looking way. Which is of course, is an illusion. Because the simple truth is, there is only one ME.
And I can’t be in two places at the same time. So I make choices that are based on my values.
So yes, I leave the dirty dinner dishes in the sink so I can watch a re-run of “The Office” with the family, or I skip my walk, so that I can get groceries in time for dinner…
But here’s the interesting part about multi-tasking.
It’s constantly telling us about who we are, about what we value, and what we want our lives to be about. And some of the quickest-on-the-spot choices we make with our time will tell us about our wisdom.
And If you’re like me, you will keep learning about yourself.
Because in the end, I think that ‘knowing myself’ is the subject that I really need to excel in…
What do you think?
Can you relate to this post? I would love to hear your views about “having it all.” Email me or leave a comment here, I love getting feedback!
Thanks for stopping by, I hope you make wise decisions with your time this weekend and that you’re happy.