Christmas Cottage Tour 2017--and Life behind the pretty pictures

Hello friends and welcome to my little Christmas home tour.

I know-I know... in the blogger world— I’m light years behind all the wonderful home tours that have come and gone, but did I tell you? I’m living my design life out in dog years, so my holiday decorating now happens several years behind the blog world—and it’s working out pretty well for me.

Are you in the mood for some Christmas pictures from around here?

Wonderful!! I wish I could hand you a glass of wine through the computer screen, but we’ll just have to pretend about that part.

 I do however want to welcome you into my home with one caveat: you should know that behind each of these pretty photos is a lot of messiness. And I’m not talking dirty-dishes-in-the-sink-messiness I’m talking real life messy stuff that’s been a large part my 2017.

I’m talking about the stressful family dynamics that were happening not only in my little family, but also in my extended family as well.  

And I mention this because I’m sensitive to the power of images, and how easy it is to post a bunch of pristine looking photos for everyone to see--- that might give the impression that because my house might look spotless or stylish when I snapped the picture, my life must somehow resemble these ‘perfect looking’ images.

I know this because it happens to me.

 I can be busily blog-hopping through some crazy-beautiful Christmas tours and suddenly my eyes zero-in on all the negative parts of my own home with its dated kitchen and ugly master bathroom.

Please be aware 0f this sneaky kind of dissatisfaction. Because it robs you of gratitude for the most ordinary little details of your day and it confuses you into thinking that you don’t have ‘enough’ to be happy right this minute.
And have you noticed how comparing ourselves with others  creates invisible wedges between us? It happens when we assume that someone else is living a ‘perfect’ life or that their life is problem-free, and because we know our life is NOT, a subtle distance happens. Even if we're admiring them there's a sense that "well that's not me." And so we might miss seeing who they really are or most importantly, we miss the chance to relate to them with compassion.

A few weeks back I was talking with my Mom about a touchy family situation among my siblings and she seemed most upset about the timing. She actually said something like, “I just wish (this situation) would’ve waited until after Christmas.”

And although I have a lot of empathy for my Mom because of her painful childhood, and I can understand she has an image of how she wants the holidays to go, I also realize that having this “ideal” image of the holidays can really set us up for disappointment. To my Mom’s credit, this year she was more flexible than ever before.

But hers was a conversation I kept having throughout my holiday season. Whether I found myself in a wildly, loud Karaoke bar in Long Beach, or at a fancy-schmazy dinner with dear friends and regardless of any special date on the calendar, I kept hearing about real life struggles. The ugly aftermath of a divorce. Depressed feelings. Struggles with addiction. Having these raw, open-hearted talks with friends or family against the backdrop of white, twinkling lights, loud music and clanking glasses was a powerful reminder that behind every perfect image is a real person with real problems. And it’s these open wounds and human-ness that we share with each other that truly connect us.

When I’m able to talk about my personal struggles- or listen to someone else’s pain, I feel a warm connection with them. And after these recent conversations I was reminded of this distorted belief so many of us grapple with: that struggling is somehow NOT OK. Or that to be struggling emotionally, mentally, or physically either is wrong or bad or something to be ashamed of, especially during the holidays.

And it’s this judgment about what we’re experiencing or what we’re feeling that makes things so much worse. If this is something you do, please know that you’re not alone. And please know that you have absolutely nothing to be self-conscious about, nothing to hide. Seriously. You're doing great. 

Being Ok with where you are today is so important. Let’s not wait for all the stars to line up the way we want before we relish the beautiful parts of our lives. 

Whatever happened in 2017 is over. And I hope you join me in welcoming whatever Life brings to us with curiosity and humility. Instead of resistance or worry…. let’s ask this question instead:

“What can this experience teach me? 

How can I grow from this struggle?”

 

I hope you enjoyed seeing some of my pictures around here.

But as you leave my home I also hope you walk away feeling aware of your own specialness. I hope you pause to remember that no matter what your house looks like on any given day, it doesn’t say anything about the inner strength you’ve gained from your own life struggles along the way. And your house while lovely, certainly doesn’t tell the story of your unique brand of wisdom and the forging of your identity over the years.

As 2017 winds down, I do hope you think deeply about what really matters to you so that this coming year can truly be the year that you tap into your purpose in life.
Let’s stay in touch and encourage each other along the way.

Thank you so much for being the best part of my blogging.

Merry Christmas and Happy 2018!

Namaste,

Leslie

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Feathered Nest Friday

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