instead of New Year’s resolutions
what if we tried something different?
this is my not-so-radical, infinitely kinder proposal.
It all begins with a true story about an alcoholic, mentally ill son who lived in a small, coastal town where everyone knew him and his eccentric, sweet ways. One day something bad happened to this son, and his widowed mother—who loved him despite everything—was beside herself with worry.
What will the future hold for him? The mother wondered when the options seemed dire.
And then a friend offered these five words that became a soothing ointment on her scared, nagging questions.
“See him in his wholeness,” the wise friend said.
In other words, stop yourself from only seeing his damaged parts. His flaws. The defects in his person that causes you to view him as a lost cause and a constant source of anxiety and instead, strive to see him in his entirety…a tender, complex mix of sweetness and weakness.
You know. Just another one of God’s regular customers, the friend said. Like you and me.
See him in his wholeness. I fell in love with this little story in Anne Lamott’s recent book because it spoke truth to my own worrisome self. I felt comforted by the idea that when we step back and see the larger picture we benefit. Our old “death grip” around someone we love can ease and allow room for something positive to happen.
Only this kind of letting go requires a different kind of seeing and a wisdom to know that there are gifts beneath the surface of one’s life, no matter how tired and damaged that person might be.
But imagine this.
What if this truthful perspective wasn’t merely aimed at your struggling son, your cantankerous father, your difficult mother-in-law and your rambling, alcoholic aunt?
What if this was the way you viewed Yourself?
What if you chose to see yourself in all your wholeness?
What if you stopped focusing on only the messier parts of your life, your limitations and all those things you want to “fix’ about your Self …and instead poured all your energy into the things that you do really well? What if your eyes kept focusing on your natural gifts and talents?
What kind of 2014 might you have?
What if you viewed yourself like others see you? If you looked into the mirror and heard the compliments that others have paid you and you chose to focus on these strengths. To wear these words: I am damn good.
What if you leaned into 2014 feeling completely in touch with your goods and on the look-out for some amazing, new possibilities?
Because it’s all there already.
The best that you can be
is within you right now
It just requires a different kind of seeing.
… I hope you know how special you truly are.
Sending you sparkling wishes for 2014!
A note to my friends who leave comments on my blog: I’ve just discovered that my email responses to your recent comments were NEVER sent when I hit the send button.
Mr. H tells me there is a problem with the email server that I must fix. Please know that I read and respond to each one of your comments so if you haven’t gotten a reply this is why. I hope to have it fixed shortly. In the meantime thank you for reading my posts and taking the time to share your thoughts. You have no idea how much it means.