the lesson I learned in 2015

If I asked you to name one eye-opening experience you had in 2015 what would you say?

I'm not talking about anything big and mind-blowing or profoundly wise.

I'm just asking for one of those tiny, slivers of light. One of those moments when you're in the middle of putting your groceries away or driving alone in the car, and you tilt you head, blink and think,

"Oh yeah. That's it,"

Oprah calls this the "aha moment."

A light-bulb moment when suddenly those messy pieces of your life coalesce into something solid and meaningful. So that later after the dust settles you think of it as a little burst of truth falling into your path.

I don't know what your aha moment ended up being about this past year---but I bet it involved some kind of struggle or discomfort because I’ve discovered that we tend to earn these aha moments.

I sure feel like I earned mine.

This past September I embarked on a 10 week personal challenge which I shared on my blog. Believe me; I never planned on learning any life lesson, at the time I had simply said yes to an idea that seemed utterly fascinating to me.

I never realized how much I would struggle my way through the next several weeks. And I mean really struggle as I reacquainted myself with some old insecurities that suddenly popped up again. Yes, right when you think you’re so together—Life serves you a chunky slice of humble pie.

Sigh. This is what’s so interesting about life’s little lessons; it's all so damn personal. What might be a source of incredible struggle for me might be a piece of cake for you and vice versa, because we all operate from our own unique comfort zone.

Anyway.

After it was all over we each stood in front of  a room of family and friends that had gathered for our graduation and we got to share a few words. Only I didn't plan my words beforehand, otherwise I might have shared what it felt like to be the oldest person in my class ---with the least amount of knowledge and experience in the subject. As you can imagine, feeling old and ignorant is not a combo that fuels one's confidence.

But that's not my point.

The reason I wish I had shared how absolutely overwhelmed I felt at various points in my training was because of the crowd. When I looked around the room I saw so many middle aged faces. Faces of mothers and grandmothers with crinkly smile lines and men with gray speckled hairlines who were cheering on their daughters or grandson without considering that it could be them standing next to all of us.

I wanted them to know the same euphoric relief and happiness I had at having accomplished something I didn’t know I could do.

And that's really the purpose of sharing my vulnerable parts with you; after something good gets accomplished it feels important to remind you that,

"Hey, if I can do it, believe me, you can do it too."

And I'm so serious about that.

I'm not talking about yoga right now. The teacher training was my thing. I'm talking about that something in your life that you've been thinking about doing.  Maybe a new endeavor, only you don't know how it might turn out. It feels like a risk and maybe you'll fail. So instead you stay right there, inside your comfort zone waiting.

I actually remember having my little aha moment while I was sitting next to all my fellow classmates in front of the long, mirrored wall of our yoga studio waiting to receive my certificate.

See what I mean? This is so simple I’m almost embarrassed that it seemed like such an epiphany.

But in the end, this is what my experience had felt like. There had been so many moments when I honestly didn’t” know” if I was going to be able to complete my requirements ---and for a classic Type A personality in my old college classroom --THIS acknowledgement alone was stunning to admit. But truly, it always felt like I was barely hanging in there until… well, (drum roll please)  until The Very Last Day.

 Honestly?


I’m not sure why it feels so comforting to view a difficult challenge this way. But it does. I seriously want to walk around and grab strangers by their shoulders and while they stammer and try to pull away I want to blurt out:

Look. You don’t have to be perfectly sure. About anything. You don’t need to ‘know’ 100 percent of the time that it will work out. You just have to believe it more times than you doubt it. Work hard no matter how discouraged you might get.  And really. Just keep moving forward one teetering baby step at a time.

 And you’ll get there. I swear. Because this actually worked for me.

So my dear, smart, talented friend, (if you’re a reader of this blog these are your unquestionable qualities) this year I hope you find something that truly challenges you. I encourage you really think about. Try something new and maybe even a little scary.

 Yes, something you’re not even sure you can do.

Because you deserve to feel proud of yourself.

 

 

the light in me sees the light in you,

Namaste

xo

Leslie

 

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Sundays at Home